The Final 6! The Bachelor recap Week 7

First things first- what the hell, ABC?!  Are you not aware that Sunday night of the long weekend offered some of the best TV of the year and I can't simply pass up a 3.5h SNL 40th year special just because Chris is bringing a few girls to Iowa.  Come on now...

We're getting down to crunch time.  Chris is starting to develop really strong relationships with most of the girls and then there are some floaters like Megan.  She's a great gal and, unlike lots who have been in that situation before her, she was honest with herself and honest with Chris about not feeling a strong connection.  She wasn't there to "win.  It's way harder to have that tough conversation than to keep acting like it might happen so koodoos to her.

There's still going to be a rose ceremony even though Megan sent herself home??  Jade seems like the odd girl out.  She's a lot quieter and seems less sure of herself than the other girls.  That being said, maybe that's a good thing as she can fit herself into Chris' life a little easier.  Oh- just kidding.  No rose ceremony...  carry on.

"WE'RE GOING TO IOWA!" said nobody ever while jumping up and down.  Usually the Bachelor/Bachelorette only takes the contestants home if there is a child involved.  Remember when Nikki had to go to Camilla's dance recital and sit beside Juan Paoblo's baby momma?  Awkwaaarddd...

With the exception of the girls being jealous of Britt, it seems as though everyone is getting along well and they want good things for each other.

Jade is picked for the first one-on-one and she gets invited to spend the day in Chris' home"town" of Arlington.  "So much corn.  Oh- ducks!  Hmmm... a dirt road.  Wild grass.  Holy shit, this is happening."  - Jade's reaction to driving into Arlington.  

If you ever drive into a town and see a sign like this (see above), turn around.  I come from a small town but at least we're the "Balsam Fir Christmas Tree Capital of the World".  That's big time.  If your new boyfriend's town doesn't brag about being the home of something, that's a red flag.  Geez, Arlington- just make something up!

Chris has such pride in his life and his work.  It's really nice to see him in his element and now I understand the importance of bringing the girls home.  The glitz and glam (of Santa Fe and Deadwood...) got stripped away and they're left with the real Chris.  Which is what they'll have when this whole thing is over.  I hate it when I see douches like Juan Paoblo who think they're sooo cool after their seasons although some former Bachelor/Bachelorettes have done great things with their new found celebrity status.  Take Ali for instance- that girl is killing it now.  It's safe to say, Chris will not be reporting live from the red carpet any time soon and the girls need to know they probably won't either (ehem... Britt...).

Speaking of Britt- shut uppppp.  She's such a whiner and is the epitome of the girl who is looking to "win" rather than establish a future with someone.  

This date is huge for Jade.  Chris is so open and relaxed showing Jade around.  I think he's nervous about how the girls will react to Arlington and rightfully so.  That place is rough!

I'm really curious to see Jade's hometown.  She is lacking a certain confidence and it sounds like there are some skeletons in her closet.  That being said, she may be the best personality to fit into a quieter lifestyle and she could probably really benefit from his close-knit family and community.

Whitney is picked for the second one-on-one and they head to the "big city" of Des Moine.  She really has such a great spirit and energy.  She's upbeat and positive but genuine and smart.  She's always up for anything.  Hearing Whitney speak about the death of her mom was refreshing in a weird way.  She really opened up but talked about what a blessing her mom was and how important family is to her because of everything she's gone through.  She wasn't looking for sympathy and it said a lot about her strength and outlook on life.

Meanwhile, the rest of the girls take a roadtip to Arlington to check things out.  Kaitlyn's Anchorman reference "It's quite pungent.  It stings the nostrils" is everything.  She just scored so many points with me.

Whitney and Chris leave the restaurant to find a huge mural of themselves outside on the restaurant wall.  Well...  I guess Chris can never take another date there...

Jade confides in Carly that she has posed nude for Playboy.  As a result, Jade's Twitter following just skyrocketed with boyfriends and husbands of Bachelor viewers.  Imagine your dad found out that you did nude photoshoots for Playboy from his buddies?!  Yikes!  

The group date takes Carly, Kaitlyn and Britt to the nearest hockey arena.  I like when guys have dates that show their vulnerabilities a bit.  The group date was great because Chris couldn't skate so the girls didn't have to worry about looking silly if they couldn't either.  

Chris is totally drunk on Britt.  He can't possibly picture being in Arlington with her.  That being said, he must really respect Carly because, when he pulled Britt aside for the second time, he did ask the hard  questions.  Her answers sucked and had nothing to do with making a life together with Chris.  

I'm trying to figure out who is going to have the craziest family during hometowns.  Kaitlyn made a comment about being nervous about her dad which gives me flashbacks to past seasons when dads have shown off their gun collections.  Does Chris have a passport to get into Canada?

All of the girls are really different from one another so it's interesting to see their relationships with Chris change and grow.  The hometowns, as always, are so important and will give Chris some insight.  Did Britt just say they have dinner in the living room on paper plates and eat bits and pieces of each other's meals?  Chris has been really open sharing his family and lifestyle so going home with the girls will help make things a bit more clear.

Britt...  didn't I tell you to shut uppppp before?  It's the Bachelor.  Your boyfriend is going to be dating many other women.  She acts like she's being victimized when Chris shows the other girls attention.  Chris is realizing that she is a lot to handle and I hope the spell she has on him will be broken before the rose ceremony.

The preview for tonight's episode shows Chris with Becca, Kaitlyn and Jade in their hometowns which leaves Whitney, Carly and Britt up in the air.  What are your thoughts?  Who are your favorites?  Who will leave Iowa broken hearted?  Leave your comments below!

Rivals, Country Songs and Crocodile Tears- Bachelor Recap Week 6

Ei yai yai!  Things are certainly heating up with the ladies as Week 6 sheds the light on who is making it, who is faking it and how big of a mouth Chris has.

Last week was a cliff-hanger although every preview showed Kelsey rolling around on the floor saying "I can't breathe".  Girl- if you are talkin', you're breathin'.  I don't necessarily think she was faking.  She clearly has some issues with expressing herself in appropriate ways but, that being said, I don't believe she was in a crisis situation that constituted flailing on the floor needing oxygen.  Asking for Chris when she was in that predicament is ridiculous.  The last thing I would want my new boyfriend to see is me in the middle of a panic attack getting attended to by medics.

As expected, KardAshley was super mean about the whole thing.  I would be rolling my eyes and hoping Kelsey didn't get a rose too but Ashley just needs to shush those massive over-done lips.





On to the cocktail hour or, as Chris says- "cacktail".  Chris is really not the most expressive fellow.  His mini rants make so sense and the girls stand there with looks on their faces as though they have NO idea what he's talking about.

I can't believe Samantha got sent home.  Mostly because I keep forgetting she's there and then the camera shows her 1/2 a time per episode and I'm like- "Oh yeah- Sam's a person".  So mostly, I can't believe there's a girl named Sam on the show.  It's also a shame about MacKenzie- her hair was just starting to get settled.

L.A. MacKenzie

Santa Fe MakKenzie

As the girls continue to get stamps on their passports... oh wait- they haven't left the midwest yet... Chris admits "I'm not into drama.  I'm just looking to have a bit of fun.  That's why we're coming to Deadwood".  How romantic.

Becca needs a chance to push her way up to the top and she finally gets her one-on-one.  She seems like a cool girl and actually way prettier when she's dressed down.  I think it will be a great change of pace for Chris after all of the craziness going on as of late.

When Becca tells Chris that she's insecure about communication in relationships, Chris assures her that he's a really good communicator.  Let's take a look at how effective his communication has been with Britt:

  

This season is making virgins out to be people who can't touch a member of the opposite sex or show affection to someone they like.  At least Becca isn't making a big deal about it to Chris but her interviews make her seem a bit confused on where her "line" is.  Chris was a gentleman for giving her a peck when he gave her the rose but I'm glad she went back in for more and got the full on make-out.

The group date really was the "most shocking date ever" but the element of surprise had nothing to do with the girls.  The real shocker was finding out Big & Rich are potentially still relevant in the country music world.  I watched John Rich on Celebrity Apprentice and he killed it raising a bazillion dollars for his charity and being an all-around great contestant.  He must have really connected with Gary Busey off camera that same season because "Big" of Big & Rich is Busey in a crazy hat.  

Big & Rich (or is it Gary Busey and John Rich?! Right??)

The girls are tasked to write and perform a love song.  This date definitely brought out some insecurities in some of the girls but showed a light-hearted and fun side to others.  Jade has clearly never listened to country music before as she said "It's hard to write a love song when he's clearly into someone else"  Ummm...  hello- every achy breaky song in country music history has that exact scenario.  You can't script broken heart and torn emotion better than that.

Carly sings for a living but her performance was only slightly less awkward than when her brother, Zak, sang to Des at The Men Tell All but way less awkward than when Kasey sang a capella to Ali . Let's relive.  My favorite part is at 0:36 followed closely by 1:00-1:01.  Wasn't this the date where he didn't get the rose and she left him alone on a mountain?

Quick update- Kasey is now a bar brawler.  http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2013/05/vienna-girardis-ex-kasey-kahl-will-serve-180-days-community-service-for-12-bar-brawl/

Jade is the first girl to talk to Chris about how shes can see herself in Iowa and living the Farmer's Wife life.  I think she is really into Chris and but her feelings may be blinding her a little bit.  She moved from a small town to L.A. to pursue modelling and start a cosmetics line and she shouldn't abandon that for the possibility of love. 

  

Britt and Chris are so ridiculously attracted to each other.  They can't keep their hands (or their lips) to themselves.  That being said, the attraction seems really shallow and surface.  They haven't really gotten to know one another because they spend all their time sucking face and having outlandish dates.  She will definitely be the girl who the winner of this season is jealous of for all eternity and will never allow Chris to interact with her again.

The folks at ABC must have called the producers from Millionaire Matchmaker because these girls are looking awfully sober lately.  Patti has a strict 2 drink minimum which is great advice in the real world but horrible advice when you're supposed to be entertaining millions of people for two hours every Monday night.  Less articulating your feels in a clear way; more drunken blubbering!

Chris runs off to a Big & Rich concert with Britt while the other girls wait around for over an hour.  When they return, the ladies are piisssssed and with reason.  Chris gets to just pop by, make things really awkward then ditch Britt to deal with everyone.  At least give Britt the rose then send the other girls home to continue the night with a one-on-one.  Don't leave the other girls sitting there waiting.  

Classic two-on-one date scenario- rivals!  The Bachelor has a tendency, more so than The Bachelorette, to put rivals together on group dates or, even more heartbreaking, best friends!  Who could forget Ashley S. and Ashley H. during Brad's season.  Luckily, neither one of them ended up with Brad since he's a greasy doucheball.

I wonder what Kelsey will think when she watches herself back.  In my experience, those who spend all their time talking about how smart they are, aren't that smart.  Kelsey comes across incredibly condescending and has obviously rubbed everyone the wrong way.  My first impression of her was positive.  In her attempt to come across strong, poised, articulate and intelligent, she actually makes herself look judgmental, self-important and uppity.  Her laugh is the true tell-tale sign of being coo-coo pants.  Imagine sitting near Kelsey and Chris at a funny movie...

Again with the "drop me off and kill me locations".  Laying on a weird bed in the middle of the Badlands on a windy day is a scratched retina waiting to happen.

Ashley was really dumb for dishing all that dirt on Kelsey to Chris.  Never actually tell The Bachelor what's going on in the house!!  Spend the time talking about your own feelings and your own relationship with him; not about anyone else.

Kelsey doesn't have discussions- she lectures.  She's a know-it-all and I don't think she listens to anyone.  Did she say Ashley is someone she can trust and is friends with?  She was mortified that Ashley was talking smack about her to Chris which is to be expected.

It is really shitty of Chris to keep telling the girls what the other ones said.  "I couldn't lie about it"- yeah but you could tell her that you don't want to throw someone else under the bus.  

I don't think Chris has really liked Kelsey or Ashley I. that much.  They're both obviously a ton of drama and way too much work for him.  It's a huge red flag for any guy when a girl can't get along with others.  Lots of the girls in the house have problems with Kelsey but they aren't mean about it.

Surprise surprise- they both get dumped and Kelsey is left sitting on the bed by herself as the helicopter picks up Brad and flies away.  "Where's Ashley?", you ask.  Oh- she's been sitting on a hill crying the entire time.   As the chopper takes off, Kelsey gets up and runs into the desert.  Clearly the same producers as in Ali's season.  (see video of Kasey above).  I'd be like "Ummm... Chris- do you mind if I take this one?  Wait- do Ashley and Kelsey have to share a ride back?!  Has Ashley been seen since?

Meanwhile, back at the house, the girls popped a bottle of champagne and jumped around with joy when they saw Kelsey's suitcase being taken away.  It may be all nicey nicey for now but I'm sure next week will prove to bring out more claws yet fewer fake eyelashes.

Like what you see?  Be sure to comment below or join the conversation on Twitter @midtowndiaries.

Getting saucy now! Getting the most flavour out of your weekend meal

I don't know about you but I've gotten into the habit of making the same food the same way over and over, week after week.  T and I make a meal plan every Saturday and go shopping for everything we need.  I like mixing things up and not having a rotation but it's hard coming up with new ideas that are easy to execute after a long day.

Lately, I've been keeping with the quick-and-easy theme but introducing new flavours (to my American readers- that's flavor) with one easy trick- sauces!  My old pal Pinterest makes coming up with new recipes a cinch.  You can search your protein and then type in ingredients you have in your pantry or fridge already.  For example, I had pork chops but was tired of my usual seasoning so I entered "best pork chop sauce" into the search bar and got this recipe for chops with a sweet & sour glaze.

Easy Sweet & Sour glaze from DamnDelicious

On Superbowl Sunday, we were heading to a friend's house and I wanted to bring along a few different flavours of wings.  I had a good rub for dry wings and a new idea for a copycat coating but wanted something saucy too.  Luckily, I found a recipe for yummy Chipotle Maple Baked Wings (so Canadian of me) that called for simple ingredients that I already had in my cupboard.

Superbowl Wing Trio w/Chipotle Maple Bacon Baked Wings (L)

My third (and favorite) sauce recipe this week is this incredibly easy and delicious Baked Honey Mustard Chicken from DamnDelicious.net.  Can you tell I'm on the verge of obsession with this recipe blog?  I wouldn't call myself a huge lover of mustard.  I put a dab on a burger now and then but it's not my go-to condiment.  I am telling you...  this recipe is so flavourful and the chicken comes out so juicy and tender.  The honey mellows out the mustard so you're left with the tang but not the bite that mustard can have.  I used regular yellow mustard in place of whole grain but used grainy dijon because that's what was in the fridge (I was fresh out of grey poupon).  The grain (wheather in the regular mustard or dijon) creates a nice texture and helps the sauce stick a bit.  Make this immediately and be sure to throw in a few extras for lunch.  The leftovers would be great chopped up in a salad or in a wrap.

Sauce for Baked Honey Mustard Chicken

The end result.  So so so yummy!

What are your favorite weeknight recipes?  Comment below and be sure to find these meals and more by following at www.pinterest.com/midtowndiaires.

Jordan goes to rehab, Britt takes a nap and Kelsey falls down. The Bachelor recap- Week 5

So much to talk about!  First of all, here is my obligatory Superbowl comment- I'm just really glad that Jordan found a job after being eliminated from The Bachelor.

She made a really incredible "Left Shark".

Also- wtf Allstate?!?  

This week's episode of The Bachelor had the girls packing their bags and heading to Santa Fe.  Megan was especially excited since she exclaimed "I've never been out of the country!".  Which is really interesting for us viewer...  but you're going to New Mexico.  Which is a state... in your home country...  And if you're marrying Chris, you'll never leave the country because you'll be too busy harvesting potatoes in Iowa.   

Carly finally got her on-one-one date and her outfit must have come from the gift shop at the airport.

Have you noticed, that every time the girls show up for a date, it's in a location that you would probably picture yourself being killed one day!?  A big empty house in the middle of a desert...  #redflag.  But wait!  Ashley S. put on a wig and revealed her true identity as a Love Guru.  Who screens these people!?  Carly and Chris were made to do so much touching and breathing into each other's faces that I thought it was a Dentyne cross-promotion!

Although the couple was clearly so uncomfortable during their "love" session with Dr. Creeps Magee, they supported each other and made the most of a really really really really really awkward situation.  I like how Chris spoke up for Carly and asked Ashley-S-in-a-wig to slow things down.  It was a good opportunity to get connected and get a feel (get it?! a feeeel) for the chemistry between them.

I'm a fan of the low-key downtime at the end of a lot of these dates.  Carly seems to thrive in those laid back settings.  It seems like she has a few issues from past relationships and perhaps some baggage to get rid of but Carly's in it for the right reasons.  Every girl deserves to feel loved and wanted by their partner and I think that's enough for her.  She's not in it for the glitz and glam of being whisked away in a helicopter.  She puts her best food forward whether it's a group date or one-on-one and comes across as a really genuine gal.  

The river rafting group date was a bit of a snooze fest and the only exciting thing that happened was Jade falling out of the boat.  Turns out, she has a rare disorder where she loses circulation when she is in cold water.  Is anyone else getting deja vu!?

Needless to say, Jade handled things remarkably better than Tierrable and,after a quick foot rub from Chris, she was back in the game.  

Ohhhhh man- look who was just passing through on her way home to Colorado after performing at the Superbowl- JORDAN!  I hope you didn't think that we could get through a season of The Bachelor with just one girl insisting she gets a second chance.  That being said, I've heard there are really nice rehabs in Santa Fe.  Where the heck was Chris Harrison when Jordan was trying to weasel her way back into Chris' hear?  A girl used to have to sit down for a conference with him before getting through the doors.  

KardAshley continues to be the most miserable person on ABC by trying to convince the girls to, not only stop being nice to Jordan but, be flat out mean to her.  She's awful and needs go home.

Wait...  where did Samantha come from?!

Britt hasn't been able to spend much quality time with Chris since she got the first impression rose. I did a bit of searching online and found this really natural picture from the day she was born:  

My problem with Britt is that just doesn't really seem it turn "it" off.  She has the same big eyes and "woooowwwww" reaction to everything and I worry that Chris isn't getting to know her as well or as quickly has girls like Carly, Kaitlyn or even Whitney.  He's obviously incredibly attracted to her and they have great physical chemistry and the same nap time.

After finding out that Chris was starting to spend more quality time with a smaller number of girls, Kelsey put on her best teacher outfit and marched herself right down to his hotel room.  She told him about her husband who died of... what was it called again... she can't remember.  "Isn't my story amazing?  It's tragic but it's amazing.  I love my story.", she told us afterwards.  While Chris consoled her, she went in for the make-out.  I thought that only happened on Soap Operas.  Nothing makes me want to suck face more than pouring my heart out about a deceased loved one.  Her in laws must think she is just charming.

Seriously- who is Samantha?

The cocktail party was cut short by an emotional Chris who alluded to the conversation he and Kelsey had which made him really think carefully about his decision this week.  Kelsey made a weird speech to the girls about it being the last time that she sees one of them again (is she going to kill them?!).  She comes across extremely condescending and a tad creepy.  

We were left with a cliff hanger and a strange moaning/whimpering panic attack by Kelsey right before the start of the rose ceremony.  Chris Harrison may finally be right- this is the most dramatic episode yet!

Ok...  I've been trying to keep it in but I can't anymore.  Wtf, Bruce Jenner?!  What is going onnnn??

Thanks for reading and, as always, join in the conversation live during The Bachelor next Monday on Twitter @midtowndiaries.  Give Midtown Diaries a little likesy on the Facebook and find out what I'm eating right now on Instagram.  

Fake Lashes Like Camping Too! Bachelor Recap- Week 4

Week 4 of The Bachelor is usually when the outright crazies have revealed themselves and the front-runners tend to start cracking.  Some relationships are heating up while others have fizzled a bit.  First impressions are really only meaningful for the first couple of weeks and then nerves start to settle a bit.  It's really a pivotal time for Chris to start making some hard decisions on who will stay and who will go.  

I'm actually in support of Chris' family coming to meet the girls when there are still lots of them to choose from.  We all know what happens when sisters get involved in the final two.  There have been some crazy sister scenarios in past seasons.  Ashley H's sister was so hard on the guys and later appeared on TLC's Extreme Couponing.  Ben's sister Julia was also a bit tough although I think she'd be an incredible Bachelorette and should drink beer with Ali everyday, Can the next Bachelor please have a nice brother or a fun cousin who is just looking for a drinking buddy during family parties?

Leading up to the "Let's Get Natural" group date, there was a major melt down in the house when Ashley I thought she would have to leave her fake lashes at home.  After pulling up to a mud pit near some brown hills, Chris told us, "I want to see what the girls are like in a bit more normal setting".... Because being asked to hop in a reservoir with 10 other girls and a camera crew with producers is completely natural and something he would probably plan if he wasn't on a reality show...

Truth be told, Kelsey was a real downer on the date but that whole situation would be a total nightmare.  Being an East Coast kid and growing up on the ocean, I can appreciate that ones idea of "beach" can be subjective.  But wait... aren't they in LA?  They could have done better than a swampy resevoir.  If Chris then dropped the bomb that they would be camping out there- I'd be a goner.  If my third date with my husband was camping, he would have never seen me again.  It took a good three years before I agreed to sleep outside in a tent.  Even if you are a fan of camping, there would be nothing fun about spending the night with your boyfriend and his six other girlfriends.

Ashley S. continues to beg the question "Which psychiatric ward is missing its patient?".  That girl is cray!  I watch a lot of crime shows on Slice (I'm currently on a massive "Fatal Vows" kick- great show for a newlywed) and guys get murdered by way more stable girlfriends.

Ashley I. tried to pull the classic sneak-out-in-the-middle-of-the-night-to-visit-the-Bachelor but production has really stepped up their game.  The camera man was clearly made to sit at that picnic table all night to catch every scandalous move the girls try to make.  I imagine he's an intern and just plays Candy Crush all night until the union guys get to work the next morning.  I think KardAshley is making way too big of a deal about being a virgin.  She keeps saying how insecure she is about it but, if that's the case, save it for the Fantasy Suite where you can have a private conversation.  As if she'll even make it that far...  Also- how horrible would their breath be after drinking and sitting around in mudpit tainted clothes all night!?

I was surprised that Chris' sisters picked Jade for the one-on-one date.  She's been completely off the radar thus far and they didn't seem all that interested in her during their chat.  The one with the Kate Gosselin hair style seemed especially disinterested when Jade was talking about her career in modeling/organic make up.

Chris' sister...  I mean...  Kate Gosselin.

The Twitterverse was giving Carly a hard time for saying she wanted to find a guy like her Grandfather.  Personally, I know what that's like.  My Gramps loved WWF wrestling, debated the rulings in Judge Judy cases at the dinner table and was a loyal viewer of Ricki Lake.  And you wonder where I get my bad TV genes?!

Cinderella date?!  Ohhhhhhh- just kidding- it's a cross-promotion for a new movie.  When asked, Chris gives us the shocking news that "I've never been to a royal ball before" Duh.  My concern was that he wouldn't know who Jade was when she came down the stairs; not because she's transformed into a princess but because he's never talked to her before...

KardAshley was super disappointed that she wasn't on this date and had even packed a sparkly gown in case there was a princess-themed evening.  "Whenever someone asks me to describe myself, it's Disney Princess."  More like the wicked step sister.  At least we got to catch a glimpse of her emotional eating issues... with corn...

Jade seems really sweet but I worry that she's not ready to go back to Iowa and live a quiet farm life.  She left Nebraska to model and start a cosmetics line in L.A. which leads me to believe she's looking for something more than her small town roots.  I think we'll see her around for a while but might might fade back into the wings when it comes down to some of the other girls.

The girls on the second group date were total troopers.  They were made to do a mud run in wedding dresses but they were all (well... almost all...) incredibly great sports about the whole thing.  The girls in the short dresses have a clear advantage although no one really stood a chance against Jillian anyway.  Her competitive nature is a turn-off  even to the girls.  She's just super aggressive and her energy is so masculine.  I'm starting to like Carly more and more as she comes up with some really awesome digs against the other girls.  She's cute, witty and, although she takes some shots, she's not too mean.  

Jillian's one-on-one time with Chris was luke-warm from the start.  She seems to think she's incredibly fascinating although she's really not.  I think she wants to "win" more than actually go through the process of finding love. Either way, Chris followed his gut and kept that rose to himself.

I'm really into the mini-dates that some of the girls are planning for Chris during the cocktail parties.  It's a great way to spend some crucial time together and create an experience he is sure to remember. The girls are taking some good initiative to get creative and have some really quality interactions.  

KardAshley went back in to make sure that Chris know she's a virgin.  Things got so bad that even Mackenzie was rolling her eyes at Ashley's ridiculous over-reaction. 

Britt-don't meddle with what's going on with other girls.  And don't speak for other girls claiming they were wanting to go home after he gave the rose to Kaitlin.  She has to make the most out of her time with him and he shouldn't have to justify his relationships with anyone else.

Britt- if your real life boyfriend was messing around with a bunch of other girls, you would have every reason to question him and be upset.  Buuuutttt...  this is The Bachelor.  You know if you start to meddle with what's going on with the other girls, Chris is going to get mad and walk out!  You have to make the most of your time with him and pretend he's not making out with your friends.  That's just life.  

The rose ceremony wasn't anything earth-shattering.  There were too many E's in that house and JuElia had to go.  The single mom's always make it into a whole "I know he wouldn't keep me around longer than necessary because I have a child" but really it's just because her name was too weird and he couldn't figure out where that darn E should go.  

Lez'be'honest... This season is getting a bit American-Idol-after-auditions. Hopefully things will get a bit more exciting next week when we find out the Kelsey is the craziest one of all!!

Ummm...  breaking news...

CARLY IS ZAK's sister!!  Zak from Des' season!  Zak- the singer/songwriter!  Skip to 1:10 for the good stuff.  Carly clearly scored the cute genes.

As always, a huge thanks for all the tweets and commentary.  If you'd like to join the conversation next week, just send your thoughts and reactions my way @midtowndiaries.

Throwdowns, Hoedowns and Unnecessary Cross Promotion- Bachelor Recap Week 3

A two word summary of The Bachelor last night- Shameless Promotion.  

First things first, Jimmy Kimmel is brual.  The only thing slightly entertaining about Kimmel or his show is when he does sketches where he is not the focus of attention.  For instance- Bachelor Baby (click here) is hilarious. Kimmel being a dick for the sake of being a dick is annoying.      

All of that being said...

Kaitlyn gets the first 1-on-1 date and Jimmy sends them to Costco.  I would be pumped for a Costco date.  Those memberships aren't cheap.  It's literally the most exclusive club I've ever almost been to.  I would buy huge containers of gummi worms and trail mix to share with all the girls at cocktail parties so they would have something to soak up some of that booze.  Or I'd call my friend Julie (not Juelie) to get her vodka gummies recipe.  This date location also seemed to be a huge hit with my fellow middle class folks on Twitter.  People were pretty into it.

Once Chris and Kaitlyn had their fill of getting pushed around in a giant plastic ball by three unsupervised children (classic Costco), they headed back to Chris' to BBQ.  This was actually a really great way to wind down the evening.  It reminds me of when JP went over to Ashley's house and they just hung out in their PJ's.  It's cool to get away from the glamour of things for a bit.  Kaitlyn seems to thrive in that environment and really chilled out.

Enter Kimmel (again...)  Watching him sit between them at dinner and talk about having sex with tons of girls was brutal and I don't know how Kaitlyn forced herself to laugh.  It was like she was meeting your boyfriend's insecure dirtbag divorced uncle for the first time.  Worst.  I'd be so pissed if I was Kaitlyn.

These competition-style group dates always tend to bring out the worst in the girls.  Going head to head in a farm-themed elimination challenge is tough.  I was happy to see that Carly admitted she wasn't big into competition but she wanted to give it her all to impress Chris.  She did a great job and, despite being lactose intolerant, completely downed an entire jar of goat's milk like it was a jagerbomb. Go girl!

Can we take a moment and appreciate my friend Brittany and how much of a missed opportunity this season is for her?  Much respect to her (new!) husband, Josh.  He's great.

I'm turning into a big Carly fan.  Her "I am a woman and you are a man" speech was weird but I appreciate that she is trying to let him know she's not just little and cute.

  

Mackenzie- this is the Bachelor.  I know it sucks to watch Chris kiss a million other girls but it's not cool to corner him and demand he tell you why.  I can't see her sticking around too much longer.  Her immaturity keeps coming out and she's aligning herself with super annoying girls.

I need the production team to go ahead and show Becca more!  She's gorgeous and seems like a normal, cool person.  I love how confident she is in herself and she really seems to "trust the process".  When she and Chris were having a moment on the roof, she was classy about turning away from his kiss and didn't feel the need to give him a big drawn out explanation about how she's been hurt before or how her last boyfriend was sleeping with her cousin's best friend's teacher (none of that happened... or did it!?).  Her moves, or lack thereof, worked as she got the rose.

I'm not surprised that Whitney was asked on the second on-on-one since she and Chris really seemed to hit it off last week.  I didn't notice that the date card said "I'll wear my pink shirt if you wear yours" but maybe they're just that in sync.  Conversation seemed a bit dull during their picnic but thank goodness there just happened to be a massive wedding taking place directly behind them.  Wedding crashing is pretty 2005 but no one can say they wouldn't want to give it a try.  I spent a summer just outside of Boston when I graduated university and my roommate's parents owned a wedding facility.  Literally every weekend, we would go eat dinner there in jeans and t-shirts and not one person ever questioned who we were.  

Mean girl alert:  

I hope the producers gave the newlyweds a massive gift.  Like a signed picture of Juan Paoblo or a visit from Little Ricki (Emily's daughter).  There happened to be amazing lighting for all their close-ups; especially in the willow tree which was no where near the reception space.  Where was her mic pac hidden?!

Instead of a cocktail party, Kimmel (seriously... he's still there?!) announces a pool party.  This is really just a way for Chris to see the girls in next to nothing even though Jillian needs a black bar to cover her butt and crotch even when she's wearing shorts.

Juelia pulls Chris away to tell him more about her husband's suicide and struggle with mental illness.  Her story is so intense and tragic.  Even though a pool party may not be the most appropriate time, Chris is a great listener and didn't seem freaked out.

When Jade pops up to "steal Chris away", there was a resounding...  

...from all of America and from Chris.  Seriously though- who is she?!  She is going to regret those white heels and floral robe in no time.  The other girls were being totally ridiculous sneaking over to Chris' house and trying to crash his one-on-one time with Jillian although Jillian was ridiculous to sneak over and try to crash his one-on-one time with... what's her name again...  Jade.  Ashley I. is whinier than her long lost sister, Kim Kardashian.  It was a great moment when she was running uphill to the gates and dropped her plastic wine cup though.  Kudos to the camera man for panning in to the glass rolling away just like KardAshley's chances of marrying Chris.  #foreshadow

The Rose Ceremony was pretty non-eventful.  It went like this: We said farewell to the girls who haven't been on camera yet.

A few additional comments:

- Chris has no upper lip when he smiles (thanks to my husband for pointing this out while passing through the room)

- Jillian is terrifying.  She's so intense and her competitive energy is off-putting.  She could probably be an asset during haying though

- Chris' laugh!

- does "Freelance Journalist" mean unemployed (Ashley I)

Thanks for reading and don't forget to take part in live tweeting during next week's episode.  You may find yourself on the blog!  @midtowndiaries

These girls be cray!! The Bachelor Recap- Week 2

Remember a week ago when I said that this is probably the most beautiful and normal group of girls to ever grace the Bachelor Mansion.  I retract my comment.  These girls are gorgeous but way cray!

After leaving us with the Kimberly cliffhanger last week, I'm disappointed that the women of America have learned nothing from past contestants.  Can we take a moment to remember Kacie B showing up in Switzerland to try to get Ben back?  We all know how that ended- with Kacie lying on the hotel lobby floor (with her face touching the carpet) crying.

Before:

After:  

There was also that fateful day when Shawntel from Brad's season tried to muscle her way in to Ben's heart during a cocktail party?  That went well...

A move like that will, not only put a massive target on your back with the other girls but it never- and I mean never- ends well.  Let's all agree to just move on when a guy dumps us for 23 other women ok?

Thank goodness our favorite confidant Chris Harrison was around to give Chris S. some solid advice and remind him that this is life we're talking about; not just a game.  He should (say it with me now) follow... his... heart.

Quick question...  Does Chris have an indoor shower or just a little hut in his yard with a tap?  Does he use sulfate free soap because I didn't see a lather...  

During the first group date, "Show Me Your Country" (I refuse to comment...), Megan and Jillian are stuck at home so they do what anyone would do- get day drunk and break into Chris' house!  To be fair, if I was at home while my boyfriend was out dating a bunch of other girls, I'd drink a box of wine, put on a helmet and hit my head against a few hard surfaces too.  I've been day drunk for way less worthy reasons but I've always been wearing pants while doing so... unlike Jillian.  

Chris was really sweet to give Kimberly some one-on-one time during the pool party but I knew things were going downhill when the producers were interviewing her outside... at a bustop in LA... while she was wearing only a bikini...  She really should have just hailed down the first limo she saw and headed back to Long Island.

I was a bit surprised that Chris singled out MacKenzie to hang with after the group date.  I assume he is trying to get a feel for whether or not to keep her around.  It's pure gold listening to the girls try to justify why there weren't picked for one-on-one time.  "He's just such a great guy that he's trying to be really fair to everyone."  Then, as they are walking back to their limos, they get more and more bitter about it.

MacKenzie is young (a 12 year difference between them) and I think that maturity gap is going to become an issue.  She was obviously really nervous and maybe a bit drunk but the girl is 21.  I remember my first time at a bar.  Just a suggestion but maybe she could have omitted the chat about aliens.  Or when your date says "Have you seen aliens?", don't reply with "... I dunno..."

I wish MacKenzie would have told Chris about her son Kale with a bit more confidence and pride instead of making it seem like she had a bit scary secret to share.

It was a bit surprising to see Megan get the one-on-one date but she seems like a nice enough girl.  Has she ever watched The Bachelor though because how can you not understand a date card?  She thought it was just a love note??  Really?!
FINALLY!  I've been waiting two episodes for a helicopter but who was prepared for a private jet and a helicopter?!

Wow- look at that Hoover Dam...  stunning...  Was the Grand Canyon closed to tourists that day because there were zero people around.  Maybe the date was at 5am or something.  My girl @Britt_Landry brings up a good point- where does that pilot go during the date?

Super sad about Megan's dad passing away right before filming.  Good for her for sticking through and seeming to have a positive attitude about things.  Also kudos for not saying "My dad would have wanted me to stay."  Because no girl's dad wants them to date a guy who has 23 other gfs on TV for the entire world to see.

Group date to the Zombie Hunting warehouse- I would die.  I hate hate hate being scared.  I can't go through the least scary level of a haunted house in Niagara Falls.  My husband loves zombies and would kill (no pun intended) to go on this date with Chris.  I, on the other hand, would hunt Chris if he put me on this date.  It is actually my real life personal nightmare.  Big ups to the girl doing Fireball shots before getting out of the limo.

What is wrong with Ashley S?  Seriously though.  Wtf is going on?  Chris is so incredibly nice to her but kind of in the way I'm nice to a junior kindergartner when they are trying to show me their ladybug boots but get distracted by a sparkly scarf.  Although the girls acknowledge she's bat shit cray, they're actually pretty patient with her and don't partake in the bullying behaviour that we've seen on past seasons.

I thought that Britt might be falling to the sidelines a bit but that Free Kiss note was (corny- yes) but also really thoughtful and he knew it would be the perfect gift for her.  Someone should really pull her aside and advise her to "trust the process".

The cocktail hour was a bit of a gong show as emotions are running high and wine is pouring freely.

Fertility Girl (Whitney) still has a crazy voice but she seems to be more comfortable with Chris and more herself.  Her mini date by the fire was really cute and a good way to stand out a bit from the crowd.

Ashley Kardashian I. is pushing this virgin thing a bit too much.  I don't think it's something she has to come out and confess to Chris.  The info might be more relevant if she was saving it until marriage or for religious reasons but he doesn't need to know that now.  I wish I could take back seeing her "Make three wishes on my bellybutton ring.  Rub it first" routine.

Arabian niiiiiiiiiiiights...  

Jordan...  Jordan, Jordan, Jordan...  When you're talking to a guy about how much you want to kiss him and his reaction is nervous laughter, you should just walk yourself out to the front door and wait for your ride.  To be honest- Jordan's really not that crazy.  She is that hammered but seems like a fun gal.  I would love to hit the town with her and am available for drinks whenever she gets out of rehab.  

Lots of drama at the Rose Ceremony.  The highlights?  Chris says "Juelia" and Jillian starts walking toward him.  She slips on the floor almost taking a massive spills but makes an incredible recovery only to find out that Chris called the girl behind her.

                       
Ashley S. gets a rose.  The only thing that will make this ok is if Chris pulls a Brad and the Ashleys become best friends and Chris makes them go on a 2-on-1 and only one will remain.

Kimberly without a rose twice?!  Ouch.  Lesson learned, ladies of America.

Tara's exit speech = awesome.  "I'm never anyone's #1.  You'd think I'd be used to all the rejection by now.  That will haunt me for the rest of my life"

A couple of closing notes:
- 9:15pm:  The first time I have ever seen a girl eat food on any season.  Jillian took a bit of pita bread.
- Where did Tandra come from?!

- Chris has no upper lip when he smiles.  This was pointed out by my husband who was walking through the room between periods of the hockey game he was watching (just trying to justify his manhood).  

What surprised you about last night's episode?  Would you like to be a contributor to next week's blog?  Follow me on Twitter @midtowndiaries or Like my Facebook page.  A big thank you to all my contributors this week with a special shout out to @Britt_Landry, @MegCams and @sarahcatherinef for all your tweets and texts.  It's always a joy to watch "with" you despite being four provinces away!

See you next week, Bachelor Nation!