Getting to knoooow you...

Growing up in a small town, everybody knew everybody.  Unlike most urban parts of Canada, rural Nova Scotia is made up of generations of people who were born and raised in the same region where they raise their own children.  My parents hung out on the same streets that I did as teenagers.  My grandparents remember when the first car rolled into town and the fire that burned down most of King Street in the 1950's.  In my town, my parents knew about parties before I did because they went to high school with my friends' parents... and their siblings... and their cousins...  They never had to worry about my where-abouts because they would be getting a phone call in no time if anything shifty was going on.

When I went to university, the thing that I found so strange was that, you could live across the hall from someone from Bermuda, Toronto or just down the street, and really know nothing about their families or lives at home.  It was always a total trip when friends' families would come visit our university town because there was this whole side of them that you had never seen.  At that age, we were starting to bridge the gap of being our parents' kids at home to being adults on our own so there was a bit of an adjustment period figuring out if it's ok to dance with someone's mom on a coffee table (which it was- I have pictures to prove it) or who buys the first round at the campus bar.

Over the past few years, I've come to learn how incredible it is to have adult relationships with friends' parents.  I love having my parents get to know my friends.  One of my best friends always reminds me that I am "chosen family" to her and her husband.  We've all inherited each other at various points along the way and now we're all stuck with one another in the best way possible.  Despite living about 1200 miles away, my parents are always interested in what we're up to and, as they get to know our friends better, they ask about who's doing what and keep up with everyone's news and special milestones.  It's not uncommon for my friends to receive congratulatory notes on their wedding days or a birthday Facebook message from "the VTs in Nova Scotia".    

When it comes time for weddings, baby showers, birthday parties or summer cottage get-togethers, I often look forward to spending time with friends' parents and catching up.  It's a special connection and, I think, a sign of true friendship when you absolutely love the people who brought that friend into the world and raised them into the people you adore today.  

I'm not a parent but, I could imagine from their point of view, it must be really nice to see your children loved by their friends.  It must give them a piece of mind knowing that their "child" is looked out for and taken care of even through they're all grown up.  A friend of mine was going through a tough time a while back and I received a Facebook message from his mom thanking me for being a good friend to her son and telling me how much she appreciates that he has people in his life to care for him and be so supportive.  I love that his parents have gotten to know me well and feel like they could reach out to me if they are worried.

As all of our parents age, I hope we can make connections and learn from the people who raised us to be the friends we are to one another.