Fraying Lace- Week 3 Bachelor recap

It's that point in the season where you watch the Bachelor and, within the first three minutes, you find yourself wondering, "Wait...  who's that?" at least three times.  The producers have been spending 80% of their time on 20% of the girls and now, since numbers are dwindling already, one starts to notice people like Jennifer, Shushana and Rachel.  Who?  Exactly.

Jennifer

Shushanna

Rachel

Lauren B. is adorbs and it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that she scored the episode's first 1-on-1 date.  Despite being a flight attendant, she seemed out of her element flying in a propeller plane. She probably felt insecure without her drink cart and an emergency escape plan.  How do you get out of one of those planes if it's going down?

Although Lauren was nervous, it was refreshing to see a date that involved flying and heights where the girl doesn't happen to be deathly afraid of both of those things. The pilot conveniently flew directly over the Bachelor mansion while all of the girls happened to be outside.  That's just cruel.

Finally the plane landed in an incredibly remote location that, conveniently enough, had a working hot tub. Where is the plug and water source for said hot tub?  Who was the poor bloke that had to lug that thing out, fill it up, then come back out to empty it and cart it away?!

Ben and Lauren were really comfortable and sweet together.  The main issue I had was trying to figure out how her hair was so gorgeous while being in the hot tub?  I would look way worse than this coming out of more than 10 mins in a hot tub:

A quiet dinner allowed Ben to get to know about Lauren's family and values.  He was so sweaty during their chat. Give this dude a t-shirt!  Chris Harrison- where were you on that one?  Lauren told Ben that she's really picky when it comes to guys because she's looking for someone as kind and caring as her dad.  If Lauren gets a home town, I bet her father will be the one cleaning his gun in the garage when they arrive.  Luckily, if things don't work out for Lauren B, she could join the band that was serenading them at the end of the night (Lucy Angel) since they all looked exactly like she will in 30 years.





The group date was a soccer competition where the girls were put on two teams and coached by players from Team USA.  Can I just go back to something for one second...  Who is Rachel??  Other than her "23, Unemployed" description, we know nothing about this girl.  She may not have played soccer before but she's sure watched enough. She faked a hamstring injury like a real pro!  Emily (the twin) was really impressive with her goal tending.  She comes across as really dainty but she was taking some serious hits!  At the end of the date, the losing team had to hobble back to the mansion while the winners rinsed off and got to enjoy an after party with Ben.

Jami was a real weiney this week.  I've been uncomfortable with her since the beginning when, during her first encounter with Ben, she revealed she knows Kaitlin and she's told her all about him.  Then, this week, she pulled Olivia aside and ratted out the girls for talking about how hideous Olivia's toes are.  By the way- why are the girls talking about how hideous Olivia's toes are?

Amber finally decided that tonight was the night to make her move and try to establish a connection with Ben.  They were having a completely boring surface conversation then they just started kissing. It was surprising because I don't sense a spark but she snatched up the group date rose so she must have left some sort of positive impression.

The second 1-on-1 date went to Jubilee.  As time goes on, I really feel for the girl.  She's really stepped out of her comfort zone.  Although Jubilee comes across as a total bad@$$, she is actually fragile, sensitive and has a tragic past.  She uses the tough girl to cover up her awkwardness and insecurities. Once she got away from the other girls, she was much more herself.

"This date shows me what just a normal day would be like". A day taking a helicopter to an exclusive spa?  Oh yeah- get used to that.  It's sad that Jubilee hasn't found someone that she can completely be herself around.  She has one of the most gut-wrenching stories I've heard on The Bachelor.  She was adopted from Haiti after her entire family died in an accident.  Ben was so genuinely kind to her.  He pushed Jubilee to open up more but, by that point, he had developed her trust.  I know that Jubilee won't be top three and I worry about her heart being even more broken.  I literally got butterflies when he kissed her hand before asking her to accept the rose.

At the end of the night, Ben entered the cocktail party and let the ladies know that two close family friends had died in a plane crash.  He told them he was down and just needed their care and support throughout the night.  Olivia immediately pulled him aside and cried about how she hates her legs...  No guy on Earth wants to hear a girl complain about her appearance on the best of days.  She's the worst.

Good on Lace for leaving the show - for real. That girl was in way over her head and knew that she and Ben weren't establishing a close connection.  I agree that she needs to work on herself but disagree with her quoting her own tattoo.  "You can't love someone else until you truly love yourself."  That must be a really long tattoo...  I bet production passed her a clipboard on her way out with her contract for Bachelor in Paradise.

Who is Rachel??

Thaaaaaaaank you, Ben, for not giving Jami a rose.  She ended the rose ceremony saying she's learned to never trust humans and that she was off to adopt a bunch of cats.

Bachelor on Ice(cube)

My apologies for being a few days behind on posting this Bachelor blog but I started watching "Making a Murderer" and... well...  need I say more?

My prediction going into this week was that Amanda (the mom) would get the one-on-one date or at least a group date rose.  I was torn between believing that Lace is actually a crazy person or perhaps she just got caught up in the excitement (and wine) of the first night.  Either way, Ben didn't seem too into her and I thought we'd see a tearful, mascara-running goodbye from Lace at the end of week two.

Let me get this straight...  Ben's staying at the Four Seasons??  Did ABC's lease run out on his mansion next door to the girls?  Maybe that was actually Chris Harrison's family home and the Bachelors were bunking with him throughout the season.  Did Chris lose it in the divorce?  Speaking of...  does anyone know if Chris Harrison is dating?

Ben was so excited to go back to high school for the group date.  He talked about how it was the best time of his life and what great memories he has there.  I can guarantee you that at least 95% of the women on that date had horrible experiences in high school.  Being a teenager is rough and I don't know many people who think back to their time as a 15-18 year old and remember it as a high point.  The mini competitions between the girls were fun and probably let Ben see who kept their cool, who got along with one another, etc.  Mandi was the overall winner of the competition but there didn't seem to be much of a prize except for a 300m ride in a convertible...

I'm starting to like Jubilee a lot more.  In her initial video, she came across very dominant but, although definitely one strong gal, she started to show a more fun and light side during the group date.

**Note:  This is not the soft, light Jubilee




Lace...  Lace, Lace, Lace...  any girl that says "I'm not crazy" over and over again and has to go out of her way to try and prove how not-crazy she is, is crazy!!  She kept talking about how her behavior on the first night wasn't really her and she doesn't want Ben to see that side of her again.  I'm sure she's not drunk and coo-coo most of the time but it's in there and once it's been unleashed, it's hard to forget and it's bound to reappear.  If Lace is feeling insecure or out of her comfort zone, she should just say that.  I'm sure Ben would be able to relate and appreciate her openness.  Ben continued to reassure her that he understands and all is well but she is really hung up on eye contact and pretty much lectures Ben when she doesn't get the attention she wants from him.  Lace is obviously really overwhelmed and is not okay in this environment. Everyone has insecurities but if the foundation isn't there, it's not going to develop competing for a man on TV.

Although I'm not a fan of bringing back past contestants, Becca is sweet as punch and seems a lot more fun and flirty with Ben than she was with Chris.  Her comfort level around the camera/lights is likely much higher than most of the girls so she's able to maximize her time with Ben and really focus on building their relationship.





"Don't kiss and tell" is a rule for a reason, ladies.  If "your" man is dating 20 other girls and he kisses you, he's probably kissing at least 10 of your housemates.  If you've run off to make out with Ben in his hotel room, none of the other girls want to hear about it.  I would find it very difficult to balance friendships within the house knowing that everyone is ultimately trying to marry the same person.  Could you really come home from a one-on-one date and dish all the deets to your newest gal pals?  Probably not.  Being a Bachelor social media stalker, I see evidence of lots of strong friendships built between the past contestants but I wonder how they put the rivalries aside.

Jojo received the group date rose.  She's quite sweet and reminds me of a not so cutesy Tenley from Jake's season.  Oh man- remember how douchey Jake and Vienna were?  So happy...  so in love.






Last week, I let you in on my disdain for twin twists and when former Bachelor contestants are brought back for "on more shot at love".  This week, I was reminded of something I hate even more than those two things- movie/TV show promos!!  If I had a one-on-one date and found out someone would be following us around making jokes the whole time, I'd leave.  None of those white girls even know who Ice Cube is. Wait...  was that Ice Cube or Ice T??  See- my point exactly.  At least he and Kevin Hart were there were nice to poor Caila. Last year, Kimmel was such a prick during Kaitlin's date with Chris.

Ben is so refreshing to watch (and listen to) after Chris' season of mumbles, stammers and not being able to communicate with women at all. Caila is a great listener and seemed to really hear Ben and bring out a vulnerable side in him during dinner.  Amos Lee showed up to serenade the couple and he is so great!  How awkward for him though.  It would be so weird standing on a stage with a full production/camera/light/sound crew just waiting for them to walk in...

The Love Lab group date was just bizarre. Ben wanted to use science to measure attraction and chemistry which involved sniffing each girl while blindfolded after they'd been on the treadmill.  Poor Sam. No one wants a guy saying they smell "sour".  Could he have just lied and said she smelled nice?  I'm surprised the whole things wasn't a promo for stress sweat deodorant.





Amanda decided the time was right to tell Ben about her daughters.  "Kids don't scare me. It's not something I've done before but they don't scare me."  So sweet!!  I thought I was going to die when, before the rose ceremony, Ben had a crafting station set up to make barrettes for the girls.  He.is.so.cute.

The whole Olivia shtick is going to wear off soon. Ben will see through it soon.  She's just...  a lot.  She's obnoxious and not really that nice or interesting.  There is obviously physical chemistry (as the Love Lab proved) but Ben's not connecting with her like he is with some of the other girls.  And that mouth...


Question- Did L.B. chose her nickname or was it automatically assigned to her when "Lauren B." was taken?  It doesn't really matter because she chose to leave this week but I am curious...

I'm worried about the girls who are on the quieter side this season.  The majority of the girls seem really sweet and kind.  If Ben's "type" is Kaitlin from the Bachelorette, the women with the louder, more outgoing personalities certainly have an advantage.  I hope he gets to spend more quality time with girls like Amanda, Lauren H,, Lauren B. and Leah.

What are your thoughts and predictions??  Comment below or tweet @midtowndiaries.

Broken vows- The Bachelor is back

The first Monday in January always brings out a special je-ne-sais-quoi in me.  If you don't know me very well, you may think things like "Wow- look at that girl and her 'New Year, New You' attitude.  Check out the pep in her step.  She's so revitalized from the holiday break!"  Those who do know me will understand that I am just counting down the hours until Chris Harrison starts hosing down the Bachelor mansion driveway and dreaming of eating handfuls of Smartfood on my couch for two hours while judging every woman I see on my TV screen.

After Chris' season, I took a solemn vow that I would never watch The Bachelor/ette again.  I absolutely hated when Kaitlyn and Britt "competed" to be The Bachelorette and, in response, I put my foot down.  I was done.  Finito.  I didn't watch The Bachelorette, I didn't talk about The Bachelorette and I certainly didn't write about The Bachelorette.  As the new year approached, I could feel a pull...  I tried to deny it.  "Don't feed the hunger!", I told myself.  "You're stronger than this!", I told myself in the mirror.

I cracked.  Monday night, at 8pm, with the remote control clasped in my shaking hands, raw instincts took over.  Before I knew it, I was being lulled by Chris Harrison's voice and I couldn't take my eyes off of the television.  You guys know I can't resist Chris Harrison...  I mean...  did you see his pic in GQ??

Considering I had boycotted Kaitlyn's season, I knew absolutely nothing about this Ben character.  First impression?  Ah-dorbs!!  He is sooooooo cuuuuuuute.  He comes across as a pretty normal dude.  His energy reminds me a bit of Sean but less virgin-y.  He has a confidence about him but in a way that will likely put the girls at ease.  My only complaint (so far) is that he was only shown with his shirt off once and it was for less than 15 seconds.  

The girls' intro videos are always pretty entertaining but only really show you a glimpse at the total nutbars and the ones with sad stories.  So far, this season has fewer tragedies than usual and seemingly more nutbars.  I'm sure the waterworks and drunken confessions will come out soon.

When it comes to any reality TV show, I loathe "twin twists".  Twins?!?  That's just cruel. First of all, no one (but mostly not Ben) will be able to tell them apart and keep them straight.  They'll have to come up with some sort of "I wear blue" or "My braid is always on the left" gimic.  One will always be crying and the other will always be telling her to get over it.  The crying one will try to be all noble and walk off the show because her sister "deserves" to win only to find out that Ben liked the crying one better and he won't give the mean one a rose.  I bet the producers sit around drinking and think of ways they can mess with everyone's emotions. I would.

You know what I dislike as much, if not more, than twin twists?!  I'll tell you.  I haaaaaate when past contestants are brought back. (who's Amber?!) I loved Becca and think she's a total sweetheart but it causes so much tension in the house.  The only good thing that can come from bringing back past contestants is me using the "who is she" pic of Elyse which I do at least 6 times a season and occasionally in my personal life.

I actually have that picture on the desktop of my computer so I can break it out at any and every opportunity.  If you didn't watch Ben Flajnik's season if The Bachelor, here is all you need to know:

Although we viewers didn't get to see all of the girls in action last night, here are some of my (judgey) first impressions:

Caila made a great first impression in her intro video. She has a fun and easygoing energy.  She seems a bit goofy but it could be nerves.  I wish she wouldn't have run out of the limo and leaped into his arms but he'll probably remember her for it.



Samantha reminds me of Becca in her gentle nature.  I worry that, sometimes, the more introverted nice girls don't get the attention they should in the beginning.  I couldn't even find a picture of Sam by googling "Samantha bachelor Ben".  Hopefully Ben will forget about her (along with the rest of the viewers) for a while but then have an amazing date and everyone will be like "Who the heck is Sam?" and you'll know...  you'll know.



Jubilee = terrifying. She is one bad ass lady!  She's a military vet and could kick my a$$ is about 10 seconds flat.  She certainly has her eye on the prize and said "There may be some casualties but all is fair in love and war" during her intro.  Assertive and tough girls don't tend to go far on The Bachelor.  I hope she is able to show him a bit of a softer side and let her guard down a bit.  I admire her strength and drive but it would be great to see her in a relaxed or playful setting so that Ben can get to know her better.


The Bachelor loves giving dentists a bad name.  Since Ashley Hebert, there are always crazy dentists or dental hygienists. Mandi is no exception. A friend once told me that you can never trust a girl with close-set eyes.  Case and point.








Amanda was my absolute front-runner for the first impression rose.  She is cute cute cute cute and her little daughters are cuter cuter cuter.  Being divorced with two kids at age 25 has got to be rough.  I find that the mom's on The Bachelor are typically a bit more mature and ready for a serious relationship than others their age.  They've put up with a ton of crap from past relationships and have so much at stake throughout the process.  Amanda's helium voice does make me twitch a tiny bit but I predict that Ben will be drawn to her quickly.


Have we learned nothing from casting Tierra/Tiara's?  If you didn't watch Sean's season of The Bachelor, you really should.  Even if it's just Episode 5 where the ladies pack their bags and head to Jasper/Banff, Alberta,  I won't ruin the whole season but Tierra turns out to be a crazy crazy person and looks like this after spending about 5 minutes in the cold:   ....  I digress.  This season's Tiara is a self-proclaimed chicken enthusiast and, although she seems quite
sweet and normal, we'll never know if there is a crazy bird lady in there just
waiting to fly the coop.



JoJo is one of the most beautiful girls in the house.  Unfortunately, she was wearing a totally weird unicorn head when she came out of the limo.  I predict JoJo will go far.  Is it too early to call a Final 3??  If I looked like that, I would never wear a unicorn head.



 

I had incredibly high hopes for Laura.  She was definitely out of her element and may have lacked the confidence to really stand out against all of the other girls.  I thought she would get a rose for sure.  T even picked her as the winner (amateur...).








Lace, Lace, Lace.  I was going to use her headshot but you probably wouldn't recognize her when she's smiling.  Her face looked like this most of the night.  I've heard horror stories of how late these tapings go and how the girls are provided with minimal food and unlimited booze.  That is a recipe for disaster for most women.  The vino may be bringing out Lace's true colors but I do look forward to seeing her manipulate Ben into liking her and have all the other girls warn him behind her back.


I was so surprised to see Jessica leave without a rose.  She immediately put Ben at ease and he seemed so into her.









Jackie is so sweet!  If she can stand out against all of the crazies and establish a close relationship with Ben quickly, I can see her as a Top 5 gal.










Olivia is stunnnnnning. She makes Ben so nervous but in a good way. He couldn't take his eyes off of her and, gave her the first impression rose.  Wouldn't she look amazing with a Cameron Diaz-esque short bob?  (yes she would).  Also- I hope she wears her hair curly in the coming weeks.


Overall, I'm excited about this season.  I love being judgey and rolling my eyes at everything ever but let's be real- I wouldn't last 30 seconds in that house.  I'd be completely drunk napping in the corner by myself.  These ladies obviously have guts and tons of confidence and I look forward to witnessing their social and romantic demise as the weeks go by.  Comments?  Predictions?  Leave me a note below or tweet me @midtowndiaries.