Luckily, I snapped out of my birthday cake induced coma just in time to spend an evening with 20 or so of my closest eliminated Bachelor contestants.
I always get a good laugh out of the "Crash the party" segments where Chris Harrison (swoon) and the Bachelor show up at viewing parties. I know there must be some sort of pre-plan and the parties know that production or someone is showing up but it is legit hilar. I don't even care who the Bachelor is. If Chris Harrison came to my house any day, I'd die. I've been keeping a journal of things I need advice about just in case I meet him one day. He is the best. I really want to find the house full of drunk girls at the end of the segment and invite them to my birthday party. Seriously though... Chris Harrison is amazing.
There is a villain during every season of The Bachelor/ette but there seemed to be a lot of legit hurt feelings and distrust between this group of girls. Of course, the first gal up in the hot seat was Britt who truly thought Carly was her friend. The proof? Britt: "I was sitting on your bed crying! I put cucumbers on my eyes from my salad!!". Obviously Britt has never heard of a frenemy.
It's tragic that Britt believes she would still be with Chris if it hadn't been for Carly. Britt clearly isn't a mean spirited person and I don't think she's trying to be fake. I do believe that she got a bit wrapped up in the show and in the glamour of it all. She has a very intense personality and I don't know if Chris would have been able to keep up with her. Britt was quick to blame production and Carly for tainting her love story. I think Carly is hilarious and I admire her quick wit. That being said, she did get busted a few times last night for saying funny but hurtful things about several of the girls. She may have learned to be more gentle and kind with her humour last night.
Can I just say one more thing about Chris Harrison? How adorbs was it when he was sitting on the couch making sure Britt was okay during the commercial break? There she was crying all over the place and he just sat there and listened. I mean...
Kelsey, Kelsey, Kelsey... what is left to say about Kelsey? One compliment I will give is that girl can rock a jewel tone! Her new bangs kept falling in her face which drove me friggin' nuts. If Kelsey was my kid's guidance counsellor, I would find another school district. Even the tiniest tad of humility could serve her really well. Kelsey appeared to be a front-runner in the beginning. She seemed sweet, sincere and did have a touching story about losing her husband at such a young age. That being said, her "greater than thou" attitude rubbed everyone the wrong way, including Chris.
Kelsey was sniffling and snuffling through her whole interview but was missing one key ingredient in crying- tears. When Chris Harrison (yum) asked Kelsey why she thought that girls don't like her, her answer was "I hear they don't like me because I'm condescending and I use big words." She somehow found a way to be condescending while trying to tell us she's not condescending. Uggg. She is clearly misunderstood and, although she was given lots of chances to explain and clear things up, she really just dug herself deeper holes with all of the girls. Who cares what KardAshley thinks really because she was just as mean, if not more so, to and about Kelsey. But it's safe to say Kelsey won't be appearing in many Instagram after-party selfies this morning.
We finally get a chance to catch up with Ashley S. and she has gone back on her meds after her health insurance must have run out when she came to L.A. Holy moly...
There's no denying that Ashley is batshit cray odd but she did show (a bit) more of a "normal" side to her last night. She told Chris that she found it difficult to take the process seriously with all of the cameras and drama. She enjoys riding bikes and being silly so it was her natural reaction to block out out of bit of the crazy with... well... crazy! I think she was really out of her element but also probably messing with us all too. I will likely tune in to the premiere of Bachelor in Paradise just to see what goes down. Way to try and boost ratings, ABC!
Being dumped right after hometown visits is the ultimate diss. If I was Jade, I would go on a rampage with my family being like "What did you say to him?!" "Why did you show him the picture of me with a mullet in grade 5?!" To be fair, the girl with the normal house and lower to middle class family rarely makes it to the fantasy suite. Vienna was the rare exception in Jake's season. She lived on a friggin' alligator farm (which later appeared on an episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians). There's always a sibling to blame and Jade's brother referring to her as a "wild mustang" was a pink flag if not full out red. It was just so opposite to what Chris had seen in her personality (or lack thereof).
People can absolutely grow and change but Jade is 28 and likely in that "been there done that" stage when it comes to partying and posing nude for Playboy... That being said, Chris probably realized that maybe he didn't know her well at all and he saw a more deep rooted connection with Becca, Kaitlyn and Whitney.
Kaitlyn was the last girl eliminated before the Final Rose ceremony. She really does seem awesome. She's smart, funny and has a great spirit. I didn't love her abrupt style of humour at first but she grew on me as the season went on. I love her confidence and can see her as the next Bachelorette. She reminds me of both Andi and Ali. She's fun-loving and confident, nice but sassy. I also want her and Jillian Harris to team up on a design show, mostly because they're both from Canada.
Finally, the man of the hour, Chris Soules comes out to face all of the women he's dumped in our living rooms over the past few months. He was so nervous that his facial muscles were twitching. He is seriously the worst communicator ever. I know it's a lot to be confronted by all of these girls with the cameras on your and a live studio audience but this guy makes a French Canadian hockey player sound like Shakespeare! Chris dodges questions and uses cliche lines that are more offensive than helpful. When Kaitlyn asked what happened and why she was sent home, he told her, at that point it was like "throwing darts in the dark". I guess she got the bullseye. Brutal.
I don't have high hopes for Chris' relationship with Whitney or Becca. He is a nice enough guy but he's a bit of a snoozefest and doesn't seem all that tuned in to women's emotional needs. I was much more of a fan when he was on The Bachelorette. He's just not willing to move or compromise. His greatest asset is the dowry of farm animals his parents could offer up. The women, in this season, are expected to give up so much more than Chris is and, to top it all off, they had to suffer through really shitty trips and dates. The Badlands- America's Romance Capital. Come on now...
My best bet is that Chris will pick Whitney in the finale but he should pick Becca. I don't foresee an engagement as this back-to-Iowa-to-meet-the-Soules will bring out every insecurity Chris has about Arlington and making the right decision.
The Women Tell All ended on a real Dr. Philism as Chris Harrison promoted his new romance novel coming to a bookstore near you in May.
Looking forward to watching the finale and hearing what you all have to say along the way. Please leave your predictions below or follow along on Twitter @midtowndiaries.
