Fake Lashes Like Camping Too! Bachelor Recap- Week 4

Week 4 of The Bachelor is usually when the outright crazies have revealed themselves and the front-runners tend to start cracking.  Some relationships are heating up while others have fizzled a bit.  First impressions are really only meaningful for the first couple of weeks and then nerves start to settle a bit.  It's really a pivotal time for Chris to start making some hard decisions on who will stay and who will go.  

I'm actually in support of Chris' family coming to meet the girls when there are still lots of them to choose from.  We all know what happens when sisters get involved in the final two.  There have been some crazy sister scenarios in past seasons.  Ashley H's sister was so hard on the guys and later appeared on TLC's Extreme Couponing.  Ben's sister Julia was also a bit tough although I think she'd be an incredible Bachelorette and should drink beer with Ali everyday, Can the next Bachelor please have a nice brother or a fun cousin who is just looking for a drinking buddy during family parties?

Leading up to the "Let's Get Natural" group date, there was a major melt down in the house when Ashley I thought she would have to leave her fake lashes at home.  After pulling up to a mud pit near some brown hills, Chris told us, "I want to see what the girls are like in a bit more normal setting".... Because being asked to hop in a reservoir with 10 other girls and a camera crew with producers is completely natural and something he would probably plan if he wasn't on a reality show...

Truth be told, Kelsey was a real downer on the date but that whole situation would be a total nightmare.  Being an East Coast kid and growing up on the ocean, I can appreciate that ones idea of "beach" can be subjective.  But wait... aren't they in LA?  They could have done better than a swampy resevoir.  If Chris then dropped the bomb that they would be camping out there- I'd be a goner.  If my third date with my husband was camping, he would have never seen me again.  It took a good three years before I agreed to sleep outside in a tent.  Even if you are a fan of camping, there would be nothing fun about spending the night with your boyfriend and his six other girlfriends.

Ashley S. continues to beg the question "Which psychiatric ward is missing its patient?".  That girl is cray!  I watch a lot of crime shows on Slice (I'm currently on a massive "Fatal Vows" kick- great show for a newlywed) and guys get murdered by way more stable girlfriends.

Ashley I. tried to pull the classic sneak-out-in-the-middle-of-the-night-to-visit-the-Bachelor but production has really stepped up their game.  The camera man was clearly made to sit at that picnic table all night to catch every scandalous move the girls try to make.  I imagine he's an intern and just plays Candy Crush all night until the union guys get to work the next morning.  I think KardAshley is making way too big of a deal about being a virgin.  She keeps saying how insecure she is about it but, if that's the case, save it for the Fantasy Suite where you can have a private conversation.  As if she'll even make it that far...  Also- how horrible would their breath be after drinking and sitting around in mudpit tainted clothes all night!?

I was surprised that Chris' sisters picked Jade for the one-on-one date.  She's been completely off the radar thus far and they didn't seem all that interested in her during their chat.  The one with the Kate Gosselin hair style seemed especially disinterested when Jade was talking about her career in modeling/organic make up.

Chris' sister...  I mean...  Kate Gosselin.

The Twitterverse was giving Carly a hard time for saying she wanted to find a guy like her Grandfather.  Personally, I know what that's like.  My Gramps loved WWF wrestling, debated the rulings in Judge Judy cases at the dinner table and was a loyal viewer of Ricki Lake.  And you wonder where I get my bad TV genes?!

Cinderella date?!  Ohhhhhhh- just kidding- it's a cross-promotion for a new movie.  When asked, Chris gives us the shocking news that "I've never been to a royal ball before" Duh.  My concern was that he wouldn't know who Jade was when she came down the stairs; not because she's transformed into a princess but because he's never talked to her before...

KardAshley was super disappointed that she wasn't on this date and had even packed a sparkly gown in case there was a princess-themed evening.  "Whenever someone asks me to describe myself, it's Disney Princess."  More like the wicked step sister.  At least we got to catch a glimpse of her emotional eating issues... with corn...

Jade seems really sweet but I worry that she's not ready to go back to Iowa and live a quiet farm life.  She left Nebraska to model and start a cosmetics line in L.A. which leads me to believe she's looking for something more than her small town roots.  I think we'll see her around for a while but might might fade back into the wings when it comes down to some of the other girls.

The girls on the second group date were total troopers.  They were made to do a mud run in wedding dresses but they were all (well... almost all...) incredibly great sports about the whole thing.  The girls in the short dresses have a clear advantage although no one really stood a chance against Jillian anyway.  Her competitive nature is a turn-off  even to the girls.  She's just super aggressive and her energy is so masculine.  I'm starting to like Carly more and more as she comes up with some really awesome digs against the other girls.  She's cute, witty and, although she takes some shots, she's not too mean.  

Jillian's one-on-one time with Chris was luke-warm from the start.  She seems to think she's incredibly fascinating although she's really not.  I think she wants to "win" more than actually go through the process of finding love. Either way, Chris followed his gut and kept that rose to himself.

I'm really into the mini-dates that some of the girls are planning for Chris during the cocktail parties.  It's a great way to spend some crucial time together and create an experience he is sure to remember. The girls are taking some good initiative to get creative and have some really quality interactions.  

KardAshley went back in to make sure that Chris know she's a virgin.  Things got so bad that even Mackenzie was rolling her eyes at Ashley's ridiculous over-reaction. 

Britt-don't meddle with what's going on with other girls.  And don't speak for other girls claiming they were wanting to go home after he gave the rose to Kaitlin.  She has to make the most out of her time with him and he shouldn't have to justify his relationships with anyone else.

Britt- if your real life boyfriend was messing around with a bunch of other girls, you would have every reason to question him and be upset.  Buuuutttt...  this is The Bachelor.  You know if you start to meddle with what's going on with the other girls, Chris is going to get mad and walk out!  You have to make the most of your time with him and pretend he's not making out with your friends.  That's just life.  

The rose ceremony wasn't anything earth-shattering.  There were too many E's in that house and JuElia had to go.  The single mom's always make it into a whole "I know he wouldn't keep me around longer than necessary because I have a child" but really it's just because her name was too weird and he couldn't figure out where that darn E should go.  

Lez'be'honest... This season is getting a bit American-Idol-after-auditions. Hopefully things will get a bit more exciting next week when we find out the Kelsey is the craziest one of all!!

Ummm...  breaking news...

CARLY IS ZAK's sister!!  Zak from Des' season!  Zak- the singer/songwriter!  Skip to 1:10 for the good stuff.  Carly clearly scored the cute genes.

As always, a huge thanks for all the tweets and commentary.  If you'd like to join the conversation next week, just send your thoughts and reactions my way @midtowndiaries.

Throwdowns, Hoedowns and Unnecessary Cross Promotion- Bachelor Recap Week 3

A two word summary of The Bachelor last night- Shameless Promotion.  

First things first, Jimmy Kimmel is brual.  The only thing slightly entertaining about Kimmel or his show is when he does sketches where he is not the focus of attention.  For instance- Bachelor Baby (click here) is hilarious. Kimmel being a dick for the sake of being a dick is annoying.      

All of that being said...

Kaitlyn gets the first 1-on-1 date and Jimmy sends them to Costco.  I would be pumped for a Costco date.  Those memberships aren't cheap.  It's literally the most exclusive club I've ever almost been to.  I would buy huge containers of gummi worms and trail mix to share with all the girls at cocktail parties so they would have something to soak up some of that booze.  Or I'd call my friend Julie (not Juelie) to get her vodka gummies recipe.  This date location also seemed to be a huge hit with my fellow middle class folks on Twitter.  People were pretty into it.

Once Chris and Kaitlyn had their fill of getting pushed around in a giant plastic ball by three unsupervised children (classic Costco), they headed back to Chris' to BBQ.  This was actually a really great way to wind down the evening.  It reminds me of when JP went over to Ashley's house and they just hung out in their PJ's.  It's cool to get away from the glamour of things for a bit.  Kaitlyn seems to thrive in that environment and really chilled out.

Enter Kimmel (again...)  Watching him sit between them at dinner and talk about having sex with tons of girls was brutal and I don't know how Kaitlyn forced herself to laugh.  It was like she was meeting your boyfriend's insecure dirtbag divorced uncle for the first time.  Worst.  I'd be so pissed if I was Kaitlyn.

These competition-style group dates always tend to bring out the worst in the girls.  Going head to head in a farm-themed elimination challenge is tough.  I was happy to see that Carly admitted she wasn't big into competition but she wanted to give it her all to impress Chris.  She did a great job and, despite being lactose intolerant, completely downed an entire jar of goat's milk like it was a jagerbomb. Go girl!

Can we take a moment and appreciate my friend Brittany and how much of a missed opportunity this season is for her?  Much respect to her (new!) husband, Josh.  He's great.

I'm turning into a big Carly fan.  Her "I am a woman and you are a man" speech was weird but I appreciate that she is trying to let him know she's not just little and cute.

  

Mackenzie- this is the Bachelor.  I know it sucks to watch Chris kiss a million other girls but it's not cool to corner him and demand he tell you why.  I can't see her sticking around too much longer.  Her immaturity keeps coming out and she's aligning herself with super annoying girls.

I need the production team to go ahead and show Becca more!  She's gorgeous and seems like a normal, cool person.  I love how confident she is in herself and she really seems to "trust the process".  When she and Chris were having a moment on the roof, she was classy about turning away from his kiss and didn't feel the need to give him a big drawn out explanation about how she's been hurt before or how her last boyfriend was sleeping with her cousin's best friend's teacher (none of that happened... or did it!?).  Her moves, or lack thereof, worked as she got the rose.

I'm not surprised that Whitney was asked on the second on-on-one since she and Chris really seemed to hit it off last week.  I didn't notice that the date card said "I'll wear my pink shirt if you wear yours" but maybe they're just that in sync.  Conversation seemed a bit dull during their picnic but thank goodness there just happened to be a massive wedding taking place directly behind them.  Wedding crashing is pretty 2005 but no one can say they wouldn't want to give it a try.  I spent a summer just outside of Boston when I graduated university and my roommate's parents owned a wedding facility.  Literally every weekend, we would go eat dinner there in jeans and t-shirts and not one person ever questioned who we were.  

Mean girl alert:  

I hope the producers gave the newlyweds a massive gift.  Like a signed picture of Juan Paoblo or a visit from Little Ricki (Emily's daughter).  There happened to be amazing lighting for all their close-ups; especially in the willow tree which was no where near the reception space.  Where was her mic pac hidden?!

Instead of a cocktail party, Kimmel (seriously... he's still there?!) announces a pool party.  This is really just a way for Chris to see the girls in next to nothing even though Jillian needs a black bar to cover her butt and crotch even when she's wearing shorts.

Juelia pulls Chris away to tell him more about her husband's suicide and struggle with mental illness.  Her story is so intense and tragic.  Even though a pool party may not be the most appropriate time, Chris is a great listener and didn't seem freaked out.

When Jade pops up to "steal Chris away", there was a resounding...  

...from all of America and from Chris.  Seriously though- who is she?!  She is going to regret those white heels and floral robe in no time.  The other girls were being totally ridiculous sneaking over to Chris' house and trying to crash his one-on-one time with Jillian although Jillian was ridiculous to sneak over and try to crash his one-on-one time with... what's her name again...  Jade.  Ashley I. is whinier than her long lost sister, Kim Kardashian.  It was a great moment when she was running uphill to the gates and dropped her plastic wine cup though.  Kudos to the camera man for panning in to the glass rolling away just like KardAshley's chances of marrying Chris.  #foreshadow

The Rose Ceremony was pretty non-eventful.  It went like this: We said farewell to the girls who haven't been on camera yet.

A few additional comments:

- Chris has no upper lip when he smiles (thanks to my husband for pointing this out while passing through the room)

- Jillian is terrifying.  She's so intense and her competitive energy is off-putting.  She could probably be an asset during haying though

- Chris' laugh!

- does "Freelance Journalist" mean unemployed (Ashley I)

Thanks for reading and don't forget to take part in live tweeting during next week's episode.  You may find yourself on the blog!  @midtowndiaries

These girls be cray!! The Bachelor Recap- Week 2

Remember a week ago when I said that this is probably the most beautiful and normal group of girls to ever grace the Bachelor Mansion.  I retract my comment.  These girls are gorgeous but way cray!

After leaving us with the Kimberly cliffhanger last week, I'm disappointed that the women of America have learned nothing from past contestants.  Can we take a moment to remember Kacie B showing up in Switzerland to try to get Ben back?  We all know how that ended- with Kacie lying on the hotel lobby floor (with her face touching the carpet) crying.

Before:

After:  

There was also that fateful day when Shawntel from Brad's season tried to muscle her way in to Ben's heart during a cocktail party?  That went well...

A move like that will, not only put a massive target on your back with the other girls but it never- and I mean never- ends well.  Let's all agree to just move on when a guy dumps us for 23 other women ok?

Thank goodness our favorite confidant Chris Harrison was around to give Chris S. some solid advice and remind him that this is life we're talking about; not just a game.  He should (say it with me now) follow... his... heart.

Quick question...  Does Chris have an indoor shower or just a little hut in his yard with a tap?  Does he use sulfate free soap because I didn't see a lather...  

During the first group date, "Show Me Your Country" (I refuse to comment...), Megan and Jillian are stuck at home so they do what anyone would do- get day drunk and break into Chris' house!  To be fair, if I was at home while my boyfriend was out dating a bunch of other girls, I'd drink a box of wine, put on a helmet and hit my head against a few hard surfaces too.  I've been day drunk for way less worthy reasons but I've always been wearing pants while doing so... unlike Jillian.  

Chris was really sweet to give Kimberly some one-on-one time during the pool party but I knew things were going downhill when the producers were interviewing her outside... at a bustop in LA... while she was wearing only a bikini...  She really should have just hailed down the first limo she saw and headed back to Long Island.

I was a bit surprised that Chris singled out MacKenzie to hang with after the group date.  I assume he is trying to get a feel for whether or not to keep her around.  It's pure gold listening to the girls try to justify why there weren't picked for one-on-one time.  "He's just such a great guy that he's trying to be really fair to everyone."  Then, as they are walking back to their limos, they get more and more bitter about it.

MacKenzie is young (a 12 year difference between them) and I think that maturity gap is going to become an issue.  She was obviously really nervous and maybe a bit drunk but the girl is 21.  I remember my first time at a bar.  Just a suggestion but maybe she could have omitted the chat about aliens.  Or when your date says "Have you seen aliens?", don't reply with "... I dunno..."

I wish MacKenzie would have told Chris about her son Kale with a bit more confidence and pride instead of making it seem like she had a bit scary secret to share.

It was a bit surprising to see Megan get the one-on-one date but she seems like a nice enough girl.  Has she ever watched The Bachelor though because how can you not understand a date card?  She thought it was just a love note??  Really?!
FINALLY!  I've been waiting two episodes for a helicopter but who was prepared for a private jet and a helicopter?!

Wow- look at that Hoover Dam...  stunning...  Was the Grand Canyon closed to tourists that day because there were zero people around.  Maybe the date was at 5am or something.  My girl @Britt_Landry brings up a good point- where does that pilot go during the date?

Super sad about Megan's dad passing away right before filming.  Good for her for sticking through and seeming to have a positive attitude about things.  Also kudos for not saying "My dad would have wanted me to stay."  Because no girl's dad wants them to date a guy who has 23 other gfs on TV for the entire world to see.

Group date to the Zombie Hunting warehouse- I would die.  I hate hate hate being scared.  I can't go through the least scary level of a haunted house in Niagara Falls.  My husband loves zombies and would kill (no pun intended) to go on this date with Chris.  I, on the other hand, would hunt Chris if he put me on this date.  It is actually my real life personal nightmare.  Big ups to the girl doing Fireball shots before getting out of the limo.

What is wrong with Ashley S?  Seriously though.  Wtf is going on?  Chris is so incredibly nice to her but kind of in the way I'm nice to a junior kindergartner when they are trying to show me their ladybug boots but get distracted by a sparkly scarf.  Although the girls acknowledge she's bat shit cray, they're actually pretty patient with her and don't partake in the bullying behaviour that we've seen on past seasons.

I thought that Britt might be falling to the sidelines a bit but that Free Kiss note was (corny- yes) but also really thoughtful and he knew it would be the perfect gift for her.  Someone should really pull her aside and advise her to "trust the process".

The cocktail hour was a bit of a gong show as emotions are running high and wine is pouring freely.

Fertility Girl (Whitney) still has a crazy voice but she seems to be more comfortable with Chris and more herself.  Her mini date by the fire was really cute and a good way to stand out a bit from the crowd.

Ashley Kardashian I. is pushing this virgin thing a bit too much.  I don't think it's something she has to come out and confess to Chris.  The info might be more relevant if she was saving it until marriage or for religious reasons but he doesn't need to know that now.  I wish I could take back seeing her "Make three wishes on my bellybutton ring.  Rub it first" routine.

Arabian niiiiiiiiiiiights...  

Jordan...  Jordan, Jordan, Jordan...  When you're talking to a guy about how much you want to kiss him and his reaction is nervous laughter, you should just walk yourself out to the front door and wait for your ride.  To be honest- Jordan's really not that crazy.  She is that hammered but seems like a fun gal.  I would love to hit the town with her and am available for drinks whenever she gets out of rehab.  

Lots of drama at the Rose Ceremony.  The highlights?  Chris says "Juelia" and Jillian starts walking toward him.  She slips on the floor almost taking a massive spills but makes an incredible recovery only to find out that Chris called the girl behind her.

                       
Ashley S. gets a rose.  The only thing that will make this ok is if Chris pulls a Brad and the Ashleys become best friends and Chris makes them go on a 2-on-1 and only one will remain.

Kimberly without a rose twice?!  Ouch.  Lesson learned, ladies of America.

Tara's exit speech = awesome.  "I'm never anyone's #1.  You'd think I'd be used to all the rejection by now.  That will haunt me for the rest of my life"

A couple of closing notes:
- 9:15pm:  The first time I have ever seen a girl eat food on any season.  Jillian took a bit of pita bread.
- Where did Tandra come from?!

- Chris has no upper lip when he smiles.  This was pointed out by my husband who was walking through the room between periods of the hockey game he was watching (just trying to justify his manhood).  

What surprised you about last night's episode?  Would you like to be a contributor to next week's blog?  Follow me on Twitter @midtowndiaries or Like my Facebook page.  A big thank you to all my contributors this week with a special shout out to @Britt_Landry, @MegCams and @sarahcatherinef for all your tweets and texts.  It's always a joy to watch "with" you despite being four provinces away!

See you next week, Bachelor Nation!

There are never "two" many cooks in the kitchen! Cauliflower Crust Pizza

I never imagined that I would be excited to spend a Saturday night in the kitchen but when you throw in a few Mill St Organic beers and a fellow blogger who just happens to be one of my best friends, the results are a ton of fun and some great food!

Kelly from www.herwritepeace.com introduced me to Cauliflower Crust Pizza last year.  Let me start by saying I am in no way a huge cauliflower fan.  I don't buy cauliflower and I even tend to avoid it on a veggie tray.  That being said, this recipe is somehow incredibly delish (and doesn't taste like cauliflower) and is a great alternative to traditional pizza crust.  Unlike Kelly's husband, mine won't touch this recipe with a 10 foot pole but that just means more for me!

This recipe will require about 10 mins of prep time (more if you are having drinks with your friend and distracted by the hilarious antics of her 2 year old) and 30 mins of cooking.

What you'll need:
- 1 head of cauliflower (makes two personal-sized pizzas)
- 1 egg
- 1 cup of mozzarella cheese
- 3/4 cups pizza sauce (substitutions can include anything you have in the fridge- pesto, leftover pasta sauce, BBQ sauce, etc)
- 2 cloves of garlic finely chopped
- a dash of spices like oregano, thyme, chili flakes, salt, pepper to give the "dough" a bit of extra flavour
- toppings of your choice (We used red pepper, mushroom, broccoli and garlic)

Step 1:  Grab your lovely head of cauliflower and break it apart into large florets. Once you have your florets, begin by cutting them up into very small pieces. You want it to be a 'crumby' as possible. There are a variety of options to use to complete this step. You can use a sharp knife, a grater, or a food processor to save you time if you have access to one. The food processor we had gave us a bit of a hard time...in the end we discovered that we forgot a part called the "power shaft"....

Step 2:  Cook that cauliflower.  In order to turn cauliflower into "dough", it needs to be soft.  The quickest way to do this is in the microwave.  We recommend an initial cooking time of 7 minutes (usually sufficient for a 1/2 batch).

Once your time is up, give the cauliflower a stir.  It should be steaming and quite soft.  If not, (see second video) put it back in for another 5 minutes but be sure to keep an eye on things.  While the cauliflower is cooking, preheat your oven to 450 degrees.

Step 3: Now that your cauliflower has had an additional steam treatment, wring out the "dough" ridding it of as much water is possible. You should get a couple of ounces of liquid. When you open the tea towel you will see now that the cauliflower has now taken on a more "dough-like" quality to it. YAY! 

Empty the contents back in your mixing bowl. Give it a quick stir and you can now add your (1) egg and your mozzarella cheese. Throw in some parmesan cheese too. Get crazy. Mix these ingredients together well. 

This is where you can have some creative freedom in the kitchen. Everyone has their own preferences   of flavours, so have fun with it. We chose to use oregano, thyme, chopped garlic, and chili flakes. You can create any culinary palette you fancy! Try curry and turmeric or jerk cauliflower crust. Mmm..nom.

Line a cookie sheet, if you do not have a pizza stone, with parchment paper. 

Once you have added your spices, give it one final stir and clump your "dough" into two baseball sized portions and gently press the mixture into a circle. It is advisable you spread it out to create a THIN crust. 

Let the crust cook in the oven for 15 minutes at 450 degrees. 

Step 4:  Now that the crusts have baked themselves to perfection, take them out and let them cool for about 5 minutes. You can garnish your plates with a healthy and tasty Kale Salad, that is featured on a Her Write Peace previous post--> Check it here! K's Kale Salad!

Here comes the fun part! The toppings! Again, here you have culinary freedom to suit your needs. Load that pizza up with your go-to toppings. Then put your creations back into the oven for 7-10 minutes.

Step 5:  And 3... 2... 1...  Your pizza is ready!  Take the pan out of the oven and transfer your parchment paper to a cutting board.  Grab your pizza cutter or sharp knife and divide that sucker into four adorable slices.  Get them onto a plate, pick up a slice (careful...  they're hot!), cheers your pizza-eating partner, take a bite and high five.  #goteam

There are endless possibilities with this recipe and you can tweak things however you like with a low likelihood of screwing it up.  One of my favorite variations is a BBQ Chicken Pizza recipe from Le Creme de La Crumb.  I followed the recipe exactly but just subbed the flatbread with cauliflower crust.

Looking for more tasty ideas?  Follow me on Instagram and Twitter @midtowndiaries and be sure to like my Facebook page for updates.

Picks and Hoes- The Bachelor premiere in review

While everyone around me gears up for NFL playoff season, World Juniors and the upcoming Cher concert, I am feeling back to my old self with the return of The Bachelor.  The past two seasons (Juan Paoblo and Andi) have lost me a bit but, with Prince Farming in the spotlight, I'm back, baby.

Chris seems sweet but fun, smart but modest and charming without laying it on too thick.  I'm glad he didn't get picked last season as I think he and Andi would be a serious mismatch.  It's refreshing to see a Bachelor who loves his home, his work and his current life.  He's not looking to self-promote or spread the Good word.  The dude just wants to find himself a little lady to love... or at least make out with for a bit.

A few thoughts about the first hour of red carpet/annoying interviews:

1.  I love Chris Harrison.  When he was interviewing Nikki about her douchbag ex (I won't even say his name), he was pretty much screaming "I TOLD YOU SO!  WE ALL TOLD YOU SO!" but was so nice and supportive.  That guy's a dreamboat.  Not even kidding...  one of my besties addresses my mail to "Darby Harrison".  My husband loves it.  Here's proof:

2.  Juan Pablo (damnit- I said his name) is a massive douche... which we all knew already...  So really no loss.  Ess okay.

3.  Brooks is awesome.  I thought he was the man even as he was dumping Des on her own season.  Did you see him in the background of a red carpet interview holing up an "I <3 chris="" f="" he="" nbsp="" p="" s="" sign="" single="" still="" why="" yes="">

4.  Lacey and Marcus are cute and everything but she doesn't seem like the brightest bulb on the makeup mirror.  When asked about wedding dates, her response to Chris Harrison was "We're 80/40 on the date right now".  What... does... that... mean?

5.  Michelle Money is still really mean and says nasty things about people thinking it's funny.  Her comment about Britt not showering was lame and totally unnecessary.  Keep dating rejected past contestants, Michelle.  See how that works out for you.

Now on to the episode.  First things first- it took 59 minutes to see Chris with his shirt off.  He was fully dressed during his 2-mins-in farming scene and then down to a cut-off and shorts while training with Cody (hilarious) at 8:05.  Hell- Cody wasn't even wearing a shirt!  

Chris was talking about missing his first harvest like he's a Manning missing the Superbowl.  Although, by the looks of his drinking buddies in Iowa, they may need some young blood around there to get the job done.  

Although I appreciated the "love is like farming speech", I was really expecting more souls/Soules references.  

Apparently ABC's transportation budget got cut a bit this year as Chris got a motorcycle instead of a sports car.  I know it's part of his rugged persona but give the good ol'boy an F150 or something!

I think Chris has a really challenging season ahead of him.  From first impressions only, this is probably the most beautiful and seeming normal group of girls in recent history.  Oh- and there are 30 of them.  There are always some early red flags which Chris won't see until week 7 when he's sent amazing girls home and then he's stuck with two crazies and a virgin but that's the whole fun of being a viewer right?!  

I toyed with calling this next part "Hits and Misses", "Red Light, Green Light" and "Pros and Cons" but, in light of Prince Farming, I will refer to a few of the stand out ladies as "Picks and Hoes".

Picks:

Mackenzie

Her son's name is Kale.  Boom.  My concern?  She's only 21 and between having a young child and being so young herself, I'm scared she might get eaten up a bit by the other ladies.  

Kelsey

Her story of being a widow is super sad but I don't think she's going to be dwelling on it the whole time as part of her identity (ehem... Emily).  I love her bright spirit and she is gorgeous.

Carly

I love that this girl made her entrance with a bright pink karaoke machine.  She's cute and fun but doesn't seem crazy.  That's (apparently) hard to find.

Bo

Although Bo's role was small last night and her stay in the house was short-lived, I thought it was awesome that production showed her conversation with Chris about pork.  "I want to try some of that pork.  As a plus sized model, I have to keep these curves!".  Now that's a woman.

Hoes (disclaimer:  I am in no way referring to these women as hoes in the derogatory way.  It's just a clever play on Chris being a farmer!)

Whitney

 Her voice is a red flag.  As is her question "Do ya'll inseminate hogs?".

Amanda

Producer:  Why haven't you found love yet?

Amanda:  Because I'm crazy?!

She gone.  No actually- she didn't get a rose.

Kaitlyn

Does she have a lazy eye?  Her opening line to Chris was that she doesn't know much about him except that he's a farmer.  That was followed up with her saying she wants him to "plow the f** out of my field".

Brittany

I sat on my couch for at least 15h over the holidays watching "Total Divas"- a reality show about the WWE female wrestlers and their lives.  Guuuuurl, don't be coming over here cross-pollinating all over my reality shows.  You stay over there with the Bella Twins and Eva Marie and leave The Bachelor to the girls who have no shot of ever being scene again (outside of Bachelor Pad or Bachelor in Paradise).

Juelia

You spelled your name wrong.

A few other notables:

- does Chris' house have an indoor shower?

- there really was an abundance of figure skating outfits at the cocktail party

- "former cheerleader" is not a job.  "Former" anything is not a job.

- if you are not happy about 3 limos full of new girls coming onto your territory, just yell "block her out!" and have two 100 lb girls guard the door. 

- do the girls get a bathroom break before the rose ceremony?  I know how I get when I've already broken the seal

- everyone's reaction when Chris picked Tara (for the record, I applaud him giving her a second chance)

- did the cocktail party/rose ceremony go all night?  It was light out during the girls' exit interviews

All in all, I think this season will be a good one.  It looks like drama drama drama and kissing kissing kissing so we have that to look forward to.  I would love to hear your comments and judgements. Join the conversation on Twitter @midtowndiaries and don't forget to catch all of my updates by liking www.facebook.com/midtowndiaries.

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