Know Different, Do Different. An apology to my university roommate

Although "no regrets!" is a nice motto to live by, the definition of "regret" isn't as dirty as I used to believe.

We've all felt this way.  It doesn't mean we didn't learn from it or that we would like to go back in time and change things but if you knew different, wouldn't we all do different?

I've toyed with this blog post for a while since it is a bit personal and it's really perhaps an apology letter to a friend out there for all to see.   But, since the recipient is also a blogger and shows such courage and honesty in her posts, I think she would want me to too the same. 

Almost 12 years ago, I met my university roommate on a warm September day in room 203 of Dennis House.  I realize now that I was a really shitty friend to her and, for that, I am so sorry.  

B and I were seemingly meant-to-be from the start.  Although we came from really different worlds, we shared a birthday (same day & year!), the same unruly curls and both loved books and music.  We sent each other mix tapes over the summer months before we met and spent hours racking up long distance charges on the phone (pre-cell phone era!).  She traveled 3/4 of the way across the country to come to university and knew next to no one.  I traveled 1 1/2 h by car and had lots of friends there already.  B and I got along great initially but, after a short time, I remember pulling away from her on purpose.  I wasn't ready for a roommate like B.

B was (is!) beautiful, so smart, talented, has an infectious laugh and travels the world.  She is curious about different languages, cultures, foods.  My 18 year old self resented her for that and I've regretted ruining, what could have been a long-lasting relationship with her, ever since.  

I remember one day in particular and I've always been disappointed in myself for the way I acted.  I walked into the room and B had just received a phone call from home.  Something really serious was going on with her family and she was devastated.  Internally, I just didn't know what to do and, instead of being there for her, I did the worst thing I could have done.  I grabbed my laptop and left the room.  I didn't give her a hug or listen to her.  I fled.  I still think about that day often and what a selfish person I was to leave B there alone when she was in crisis so far from home.  

She transferred to a different university at the year's end for many different reasons and I only saw her once or twice again after that.  I follow her worldly travels on her blog and think or her often but I wish I had done better while I had the chance in person.  I wish I had known to be compassionate and kind when B needed it.

Is there a time when you would have done different if you had known different?  Please share your comments below or send a tweet @midtowndiaries #dodifferent 

Learning from Scott Stratten's "UnMarketing"

I am in the final weeks of my Social Media Marketing course and I am feeling inspired, savvy and way more passionate about social media than I thought possible.  As part of my course work, I had to pick a book about social media marketing and complete a "digital book report" on two different platforms.  Lucky for me (and now you!), I chose blogging as one.


The book I read is UnMarketing by Scott Stratten.  Scott is a Canadian marketing expert who speaks and consults on all matters concerning customer engagement.  If you work with the public at all, this is a really great read.  Even if you yourself don't have a role having to do with social media, he hits home on a lot of important things to keep in mind through case studies and personal experience.  

Here are four things I really took away from UnMarketing:

1) Expertise
If you have a job, you were likely hired because you have some level of expertise in your field.  Stratten insists that you must be an expert to run your own business.  But be careful- there is a difference between claiming to be "an expert" and claiming to be "the expert".

Stratten explains, "People who claim to be the top expert in a certain field often do it in a way that excludes everyone else.  In declaring the top spot, these people claim they know the most and everything there is to know about a certain thing.  Really, nobody can claim that."

2) Shared responsibility
Too often, we consider our marketing departments "over there".  It's easy to chalk up poor sales to a bad website or an unsuccessful marketing campaign.  In his chapter "Pull & Stay", Stratten encourages us to think of marketing as a bigger picture.  He says that "Marketing is not one department.  It is every point of engagement."

Be responsible for your personal piece of the marketing pie.  Go the extra mile to put yourself out there and stand out amongst the businesses around you.  Pull & Stay refers to the ability to draw or pull someone in, collect their information and stay present and connected after your interaction.

3) Do one thing well... and then get bigger
Finding the right social media platform for your business or brand can be confusing.  There are so many out there and many businesses feel the need to be present on them all.  Stratten suggests choosing one platform where you want people to find you and do your absolute best in that space.  Once you have built a good following, you can think about where it would make sense to be next.

In order to successfully build your platform, Stratten gives the following 3 steps:

1. traction
2. momentum
3. expansion

4)  Customer Service

Social media platforms are just that- social!  They allow for conversation, interaction annnnnd public displays of customer (dis)satisfaction.  On such a public forum, it is important for businesses to keep their cool online and really listen to their happy or not-so-happy customers.  When things go wrong, it's ok (and recommended) to acknowledge the customer and own the mistake.  

I would love to hear all of your social media advice or questions.  Please comment below or join the conversation @midtowndiaries #midtownmarketing