(the morning) After the Final Rose

Do you ever wake up in the morning with a sense that all is right and just in this world?  Today, I did.  Despite sitting here in front of my computer screen for a good ten minutes, I cannot come up with one mean thing to say about last night's finale of The Bachelor.  All of the things I wished would happen did and everyone went on to live their lives happily ever after.  The end.

Now hindsight is 20/20 and, believe you me, I was faaaaa-reaking out during the entire finale episode.  I was so sure how all of this would end but watching Ben and the girls live through the decision making process was so stressful.  At one point, two of my girlfriends and I were just sending each other selfies of our scared faces.  One of us may or may not have been crying through the whole episode... I blame hormones.

Ben's opening monologue was the ultimate "What have I done?!" realization.  Now he's worried he'll make a mistake and propose to the wrong girl?!  ...  uhhhhh...  You know you told both of them you're in love and there's an entire camera crew with you and both girls will see this right!?  There's no undoing that.  It is literally archived for the rest of time.  At that point, he was in for a world of hurt regardless of who he ended up with.



How much do we love Ben's parents?!  They are so wonderful.  They have a gentle nature but aren't shy about expressing concerns while respecting that this is Ben's decision.  And check out Ben's dad's full head of hair!  That's a great sign of things to come for future generations.

Mom was not buying this "in love with two girls" thing.  That being said, both parents seemed very open to getting to know the ladies and gave Lauren and JoJo each a really fair shot.


Lauren is certainly the more polished and composed of the two women.  Her chat with Ben's Mom impressed me.  It is not easy for most to go to their future mother-in-law for relationship advice.  She earned some serious points with me when she asked Mom about how she could help Ben through hard times.  If I had a family member going as The Bachelor/ette or a contestant, I would be so concerned that the couple only gets to see the best in each other.  Their relationships have been so short and the experience is intensified by outlandish dates, a production crew and the nature of competition.  Being in a marriage or any kind of long term relationship is really hard work and learning how to get through the tough stuff is the most challenging, although rewarding, part.

When JoJo arrived at the Higgins' little vacation home, she handed Ben's mom an awkward little bouquet in a conch shell.  "Let me just put these flowers next to the massive bouquet Lauren brought for us..."  JoJo is a really nice girl and undoubtedly head over heels for Ben.  The main factor for me swaying toward Lauren is that JoJo seems to be more wrapped up in the glamour of love.  She talks about being with Ben like it's a fairy tale and this is her perfect love story.  Lauren comes across as more of a giver and JoJo is all about how Ben makes her feel and what he gives to her.

After JoJo's visit, I really felt for Ben's poor poor mom.  It took everything in her not to reach across the couch and shake him.  She was trying so hard to keep it together and let Ben be a big boy and make his own decisions but I mean... she burst out laughing when Lauren said that Ben seems perfect...  She knows Ben better than anyone and she remained so open and positive.  You could just tell in her interview after the visits that she was really hurting for Ben.

I'm never mad at Chris Harrison but it was really annoying that, right before every commercial break, he tried to make it seem like Ben was going to get married right then and there on After the Final Rose.  Ben's hometown pastor was really into that Bible...



Has anyone noticed that JoJo's parents could play Dr. Phil and his wife Robin on SNL?  Twitter was going crazy with speculation when Lauren's entire family was shown but only JoJo's parents- no brothers.  Personally, I assumed that it was really meaningful for Ben to have them as groomsmen since they hit it off so well at hometowns...  not.  Ben never wants to see those dudes again





As Ben tried to make up his mind as to who to propose to, one of his arguments for JoJo was that they had gone through really hard things together and withstood true relationship tests.  Ummm...  no- you really haven't.  The most serious hardship they had to face was knowing what to do after a table fell over when a helicopter, which was there to fly them around Vegas, landed too close to them on a rooftop.  That is not a hardship...

If I was Lauren during her last one-on-one date, I'd be panicking BIG time.  Ben was so off and giving her nothing.  He kissed her on the forehead about twenty times which is sweet if you're sitting around watching TV but not when you're a day away from getting either proposed to or dumped.  When a guy starts a sentence by saying "No matter what happens...", it's a terrible terrible sign.

At this point in the episode, I was stress eating popcorn by the handful.  I literally had more than ten pieces of it sitting in my tank top when I went to change for bed.

Didn't Ben and JoJo have that exact date already?  Waterfall, smooching, sitting on a grimy rock without a towel...  Both of them likely came down with bacterial infections after that chat.  At least JoJo picked a much more practical bathing suit this time.  Ben had such a heavy heart through both of those dates and wasn't able to relax at all.  JoJo must have had horrible thoughts running through her mind as to what Ben was thinking.  When she asked Ben to open up to her, he told her "It's exactly what you probably think".  Imagine if something is as bad and horrific as you have in your head?!

Ben was obviously putting his foot in his mouth BIG time.  Now he's keeping quiet and not saying anything?!  Last week he was confessing his love to any pretty girl that walked by and now he wants to worry about breaking hearts?!

Ben ended up completely friendzoning JoJo.  I feel bad for her because there is no way I would want any guy to see me crying on a bathroom floor unless I was going to marry them.  Some things are sacred and only for your girlfriends to see.  If a man can make you feel better when you're blubbering with your forehead on a public toilet seat and then speak to you again, marry him.  Trust me.







I hesitate to say that any massive diamond ring is ugly but Ben picked the worrrrrst one.  I'm a bit of a purist when it comes to jewelry.  I love my princess cut solitaire and wouldn't trade it for another piece of bling.  The one he chose reminded me of a big college football ring.  Both Lauren and JoJo are so girly that I wish he had something more dainty and pretty than big and in your face.  All of that being said, Neil Lane seems like a really stand up guy!





The moments leading up to the first helicopter are excruciatingly thrilling to watch.  I worry about Chris Harrison's hearing as he doesn't appear to have any protection for his ears and those helicopters come close!  I could not look away from the television and, although I was so positive Lauren would be "the one", there was a moment when I believed that JoJo could pull through.






As JoJo approached, I knew from the look in his eye that he was about to let her go.  After he gave his speech, I honestly wish, on JoJo's behalf, that a trap door opened up below her and just made her disappear.  #devastation  I can't imagine standing there across from the man you are in love with and hear the dreaded "...but...".  She really kept it together and, although clearly devastated, she made an incredibly graceful, though tearful, exit.  Look at her though- she looked stun-ning!




I LOVE BEN FOR CALLING LAUREN'S DAD!  *squealllllllll* I can't quit him.  I really don't have the capacity to think of him in a negative light.  Do I agree with every decision he's made?  No.  Do I love him and think he's the least douchey Bachelor yet?  Absolutely!    Lauren is the best match for Ben and I happen to have high hopes for their relationship.  They are more on the same page as far as career, lifestyle and family than most Bachelor/ette couples we've seen.  They both seem pretty normal other than the spotlight that will follow them around for a bit.  As long as they agree to a few Instagram sponsorships and have a cute dog, they will live happily ever after just like Sean and Catherine.




So that's it!  Season is over,  Lauren and Ben will get married and stay that way forever and JoJo is The Bachelorette!  Everyone wins.  Will you be watching JoJo find love in the Fall?  What are your thoughts on Ben's final pick?  Thanks for following along and keep your eye out for non-Bachelor posts between now and JoJo's season!

Telling someone their life is like Teen Mom is kind of an insult...

The past two weeks of The Bachelor have me completely on edge.  I couldn't even write a summary last week because I've been utterly rattled.

Last week, the girls packed their bags and headed to Vegas. Don't get me wrong- Vegas is amazing.  My husband and I went to Vegas  right before our wedding to run away from our lives and not deal with anything having to do with being an adult.  It is not a place I would go to fall in love.  Yes- people get married there but no one goes thinking they're going to meet their soul mate if they haven't already.  The best thing about Vegas is the dry heat.  I have thick curly hair and it looked incredible the whole time I was there.

Weeks four and five are when things start getting real.  During the first few weeks, the one-on-one dates are to weed out the girls he doesn't know very well.  Now Ben is choosing the girls he really likes.  They haven't gotten dates earlier because he was confident he liked them.

Jojo was an totally expected and incredibly obvious choice for a one-on-one date.  She has been a fan favorite since the beginning and now we finally get to learn more about her.  Isn't she so gorgeous?  There has to be something wrong with her...  Does she pick her nose?  Does she look awful when her make up wears off?  Does she swear like a sailor? 

The date itself was a bit of a yawn although Jojo opened up to Ben with a super tragic story about her dating a guy for a year and a half and then he was douchey so she dumped him.  Wait- that's not tragic or dramatic.  When you don't like the person you're dating, you should dump them and then look for someone who won't cheat on you.

I couldn't believe that production was letting the twin thing go on for so long.  Could Ben even tell them apart?  They didn't have any kind of shtick like "I have a center part, she has a sweeping bang" or  "I wear pink everyday".

For the group date, Ben took the girls to spend time with a ventriloquist.  How the hell do 1200 people pay money to see a weirdo make a puppet talk every night?  Is it mean to assume there had to have been some degree of childhood trauma going on there?

Olivia is on this show for one reason and one reason only- to get a better job than she has.  She's always way too "on" during her interviews and playing to the camera even when they're trying to get something candid.  Ben couldn't even look at her while she was during her painful painful showgirl routine at the talent show.  It seems like she has a really scripted way of doing things and when things go off script, everything falls apart.

The most refreshing thing about Ben as the Bachelor (especially in contrast to Chris) is that he listens and asks questions.  When girls tell him about being nervous or insecure, he asks them why instead of just telling them they shouldn't.  He's perfect.

I was so happy to see Becca get the second one-on-one.  I'm a big fan of hers and think she's a great gal.  I just wish she would have booked an appointment to get her roots touched up.  The date idea of marrying couples was a bit odd but they both seemed sincere and into it.  Ben has a really lovely speaking voice although he could work on his reading aloud. 


Sucks to be Chris Soules watching this knowing Becca pretty much hated everything that happened between them on his season.  Ben cannot be more different than Chris.  He's so sweet and thoughtful and incredibly present in all of the dates and conversations.


Can we talk about the twin thing again??  Don't lie...  you wanted production to pull off the two-on-one date when you found out Vegas was their hometown...  Come onnnnn...  But seriously- as if Ben asked Haley and Other Twin's mom for advice and then dumped Haley in front of sister and mom...  Every guy thinks it would be amazing to date twins but it would be a nightmare.

I loved seeing the Rose Ceremony on a huge glass surface over a pool which was apparently impossible to walk on in heels.  I'm sure they edited out at least five face-plants.  I wasn't surprised to see Rachel and Amber scoot on out of there.

This week, without all that much squealing and jumping around, the sideshow headed across the border to Mexico.  Ben decided to wear incredibly tight pants and wake the girls up at 3am.  I'm generally not a fan of Lauren H. but she is pretty entertaining.  All the girls were so mortified for Ben to see them sans make up and avec bedhead.  She rocked her retainer and had no shame in her middle-of-the-night-wake-up game.

Amanda was picked for the first one-on-one date which she must have been getting ready for in her sleep because she popped up out of bed with perfectly curled hair, flawless make up and no hint of morning voice whatsoever.  I hate her!  I actually like Amanda a lot but Ben is so young and I'm not sure that he's ready to take on two kids and the lifestyle change that would bring.  It's not that he's scared to take on those responsibilities but it may not be what he's looking for at this point in his life.  I feel for Amanda because she's done a lot of living at such a young age.  She told her story of getting married young and admitted it wasn't a great marriage but she has some really mature insight and, at no point made herself out to be a victim.

Other than the awkward love language lesson at the beginning, I loved the cooking group date.  It would be so fun to run around a Mexican market and find ingredients to put together an authentic meal.  I'm not sure why Ben wasn't a judge.  You would think, in a competition setting, he should be at least tasting the food to see what these ladies are made of.  Now don't go thinking that I believe a wife should be stuck in the kitchen every night cooking for her man but having high quality dining experiences at home is a really big part of my marriage no matter who is doing the cooking.  Food brings people together!

Poor Jubilee.  She is simply not cut out for this process.  She has such a hard time being comfortable in her own skin around the other girls.  I hated to see Ben get heated about her inability to warm up to him but she needed to hear how that makes him feel.  If I was a contestant on The Bachelor, I would be a less fit, slightly less sulky Jubilee.  I could not deal with watching other girls being all over the guy I was trying to date.  I'd be the girl sleeping on the couch during the cocktail party and Ben would friendzone me by week two (if not sooner).

Why why why why why why why why why did Ben give Olivia the group date rose?  Why?  Tell me...  please someone explain this to me.  Ben and Lauren B. spent some really quality time together just strolling and making out and then Olivia gets the rose?  Stop.  Just stop.

Lauren H.'s one-on-one at Mexican Fashion Week was cool but she and Ben didn't seem to be able to spend all that much time together.  Can I please take a moment to say how incredibly smoking hot Ben looked on the catwalk!?  Dying.

Lauren really did hold her own and, despite being surrounded by gorgeous professional models, she was an incredibly good sport about the whole thing.

I have no recollection of what they chatted about at dinner or even if she received a rose but I don't remember running mascara or heaving tears so I assume all ended in Lauren's favour.

Things really hit the fan during the cocktail party when Olivia flat out told Amanda that her life was like an episode of Teen Mom.  Now, I love Teen Mom and, coincidentally, it is on right after The Bachelor.  I know the Teen Mom girls' (but mostly the dad's...) lives are or have been total train-wreaks but I can't get enough.

If someone compared my life to that of one of the Teen Moms, I'd have to take a reeeeeeeal good look at myself or at that person.  Olivia was                                                                                                         so far off base by saying that and                                                                                                               other contestants did not like it at                                                                                                             all.  Like... at all at all.

We were left hanging off the edge of our couches when, just before the start of the rose ceremony, Ben asked if he could speak to Olivia in private.  And then...

Son of a.... !!!!

  

Fraying Lace- Week 3 Bachelor recap

It's that point in the season where you watch the Bachelor and, within the first three minutes, you find yourself wondering, "Wait...  who's that?" at least three times.  The producers have been spending 80% of their time on 20% of the girls and now, since numbers are dwindling already, one starts to notice people like Jennifer, Shushana and Rachel.  Who?  Exactly.

Jennifer

Shushanna

Rachel

Lauren B. is adorbs and it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that she scored the episode's first 1-on-1 date.  Despite being a flight attendant, she seemed out of her element flying in a propeller plane. She probably felt insecure without her drink cart and an emergency escape plan.  How do you get out of one of those planes if it's going down?

Although Lauren was nervous, it was refreshing to see a date that involved flying and heights where the girl doesn't happen to be deathly afraid of both of those things. The pilot conveniently flew directly over the Bachelor mansion while all of the girls happened to be outside.  That's just cruel.

Finally the plane landed in an incredibly remote location that, conveniently enough, had a working hot tub. Where is the plug and water source for said hot tub?  Who was the poor bloke that had to lug that thing out, fill it up, then come back out to empty it and cart it away?!

Ben and Lauren were really comfortable and sweet together.  The main issue I had was trying to figure out how her hair was so gorgeous while being in the hot tub?  I would look way worse than this coming out of more than 10 mins in a hot tub:

A quiet dinner allowed Ben to get to know about Lauren's family and values.  He was so sweaty during their chat. Give this dude a t-shirt!  Chris Harrison- where were you on that one?  Lauren told Ben that she's really picky when it comes to guys because she's looking for someone as kind and caring as her dad.  If Lauren gets a home town, I bet her father will be the one cleaning his gun in the garage when they arrive.  Luckily, if things don't work out for Lauren B, she could join the band that was serenading them at the end of the night (Lucy Angel) since they all looked exactly like she will in 30 years.





The group date was a soccer competition where the girls were put on two teams and coached by players from Team USA.  Can I just go back to something for one second...  Who is Rachel??  Other than her "23, Unemployed" description, we know nothing about this girl.  She may not have played soccer before but she's sure watched enough. She faked a hamstring injury like a real pro!  Emily (the twin) was really impressive with her goal tending.  She comes across as really dainty but she was taking some serious hits!  At the end of the date, the losing team had to hobble back to the mansion while the winners rinsed off and got to enjoy an after party with Ben.

Jami was a real weiney this week.  I've been uncomfortable with her since the beginning when, during her first encounter with Ben, she revealed she knows Kaitlin and she's told her all about him.  Then, this week, she pulled Olivia aside and ratted out the girls for talking about how hideous Olivia's toes are.  By the way- why are the girls talking about how hideous Olivia's toes are?

Amber finally decided that tonight was the night to make her move and try to establish a connection with Ben.  They were having a completely boring surface conversation then they just started kissing. It was surprising because I don't sense a spark but she snatched up the group date rose so she must have left some sort of positive impression.

The second 1-on-1 date went to Jubilee.  As time goes on, I really feel for the girl.  She's really stepped out of her comfort zone.  Although Jubilee comes across as a total bad@$$, she is actually fragile, sensitive and has a tragic past.  She uses the tough girl to cover up her awkwardness and insecurities. Once she got away from the other girls, she was much more herself.

"This date shows me what just a normal day would be like". A day taking a helicopter to an exclusive spa?  Oh yeah- get used to that.  It's sad that Jubilee hasn't found someone that she can completely be herself around.  She has one of the most gut-wrenching stories I've heard on The Bachelor.  She was adopted from Haiti after her entire family died in an accident.  Ben was so genuinely kind to her.  He pushed Jubilee to open up more but, by that point, he had developed her trust.  I know that Jubilee won't be top three and I worry about her heart being even more broken.  I literally got butterflies when he kissed her hand before asking her to accept the rose.

At the end of the night, Ben entered the cocktail party and let the ladies know that two close family friends had died in a plane crash.  He told them he was down and just needed their care and support throughout the night.  Olivia immediately pulled him aside and cried about how she hates her legs...  No guy on Earth wants to hear a girl complain about her appearance on the best of days.  She's the worst.

Good on Lace for leaving the show - for real. That girl was in way over her head and knew that she and Ben weren't establishing a close connection.  I agree that she needs to work on herself but disagree with her quoting her own tattoo.  "You can't love someone else until you truly love yourself."  That must be a really long tattoo...  I bet production passed her a clipboard on her way out with her contract for Bachelor in Paradise.

Who is Rachel??

Thaaaaaaaank you, Ben, for not giving Jami a rose.  She ended the rose ceremony saying she's learned to never trust humans and that she was off to adopt a bunch of cats.

Chris' Final Rose- the least dramatic finale yet!

Well... it's over.  Finito.  Fini.  Chris has handed out his final rose. After that who's-the-next-Bachelorette announcement, it might be the final time I ever watch this stupid show.

I digress...

No one wasted any time getting right in to the action last night.  From the very first scene in the show, Chris was absolutely gushing over Whitney's qualities and how amazing she he.  He then went on to say how slowly things were progressing with Becca and how unsure he was about her feelings for him.

The finale is usually tense and filled with questions and emotion.  The girls get to spend time with the Bachelor's family and this never goes smoothly.  There is always an over-protective mom, a crazy big sister or a brother who wants to show off his gun collection.  Chris brought the girls back to Iowa which provided a major home court advantage for the Soules.  They are friggin' awesome.  Everyone not only adores, but completely trusts, Chris.  They are protective but open and truly want what's best for Chris.

Whitney showed up for her visit with the Soules in the shortest shirt-dress I have every seen.  It was snowing out and the girl had the nerve to come running out of that SUV in sheer tights!  Not even leggings!  She was very  out going and a bit too in-your-face for initially meeting a group of people but, that being said, her ability to be open and sincere is what drew everyone to her.  Watching Whitney interact with Chris' mom and sisters proved that she's a total girl's girl and can really roll with all of the Soules ladies.  She was able to express how much she, not only loves Chris, but longs to be a part of a family again since losing her parents.  Blending in was easy and natural for her.

Becca was at a huge disadvantage since Whitney had already won over the entire Soules family.  They all knew that Chris was in a really different place with Becca and, if those Soule sistas had a few seconds with Chris Harrison, they probably would have arranged the proposal with Whitney themselves.  You really can't compare Becca and Whitney.  Becca brings completely different things to the table.  She has a much calmer presence and puts people at ease by using humour.  She had Chris' mom cracking up.  She's light but also serious.  She's more "simple" than Whitney but I think that's what Chris really liked about her.  She has different sides to her where Whitney is peppy and "on" all the time.  I don't think Whitney is at all fake but Chris saw more range in Becca's personality and got to experience a bit more with her.

Chris' mom was tough on Becca but in a really loving way.  She clearly saw what Chris loved about her but needed to push a bit.  I have mad respect for Becca being, perhaps the only girl in Bachelor history, so true to herself and not falling victim to Bachelor Fever.  So many times, we've seen guys and girls get caught up in the glitz and glam and not be completely sure.  Brooks got completely raked over the coals for leaving Des' season but thank goodness for Andi setting a new standard for the ladies when she dumped Juan Pablo (on his season!) but let's be serious...

Becca was so honest despite the pressure she must have been feeling from all directions.  She's one strong chica and I love that she kept it real all season.  She wasn't as open and willing to take a risk as Whitney was but she stayed incredibly strong and kept looking out for #1- herself.

When Chris went to visit Becca in her hotel, they sat down for a real talk and Chris asks "Why don't you feel like you're in love with me?"  Ummm...  Maybe because you've been dating 24 girls on a TV show for only a couple of months...  I'm happy for Whitney that she's all in and will up and move and get married and have babies but, you can't blame Becca for questioning what she would even do in Arlington.  I'm a firm believer that you have to be really solid with yourself before you can be solid in a relationship.  It bothers me that Chris kept alluding to the fact that, if Becca doesn't fall in love with him, he'll have to pick Whitney.  If he wants to be with Becca and is falling for her, he shouldn't have to default to another girl.

Chris brought Whitney to the farm and let her see a real day in the life.  He's obviously an incredibly passionate guy but, as much pride as he has in what he does, there is still a lot of insecurity around his lifestyle.  He seemed really nervous to show Whitney his house even though it's a great pad!  Sure- it needs a bit of a woman's touch but it's a promising starting point.  When I met my husband, his dining room table had one purpose- beer pong.  The more time Whitney spent with Chris, the more sure she was that she wants this.  She admitted she's scared and doesn't know exactly what she's getting herself into but, unlike Becca, she's willing to give it a shot and take the risk with an open heart.

It came time for the big day and Becca and Whitney got summoned to the Soules family barn where Chris "raised his very first pig".  Touching.  The barn was actually unreal gorgeous with chandeliers, stained glass windows and candles (fire hazard much?!).

Becca's outfit was total foreshadowing for how things would turn out for her- horrible.  What was that, velour!?  Who wore it best?!  P-Diddy or Becca?  

I know that pickings are probably slim at the consignment shop in Arlington but come on...  Becca is drop-dead gorgeous (did you see her at after the final rose?!) and that dress did nothing for her.  Anywhoo...  That was probably one of the most shocking break-ups in Bachelor history simply because, although sad, Becca seemed relieved.  She clearly felt very strongly for Chris and things probably would have worked out for them but they just ran out of time.  Becca wasn't willing to "go there" so quickly and I think she was ready for the whole thing to be over one way or the other.  No running make up, no ugly crying, not even a "Why doesn't he love me?!".  All class, Becca.

As Whitney pulled up to the barn, she gasped "Holy cow".  I will stifle my commentary...  She was shaking like a leaf with nerves.  Once she and Chris were together she couldn't shut up and wouldn't let the poor guy get a word in.  She's probably gotten used to him "not being allowed" to tell her his feelings but, what Whitney doesn't know, is he's actually just incredibly inarticulate and out of touch with his feelings.  I didn't foresee a ring box coming out of Chris' pocket.  I thought Whitney would get the rose but he would ask her to give him some more time.  What do I know though?!

Chris really couldn't lose with either one of these girls.  Becca was a bigger risk but perhaps a greater reward as well?  

After the Final Rose was tame and without tears.  I would comment on the upcoming season of The Bachelorette but I can't even go there yet.  Britt!?  What?!  Really?!  Two Bachelorettes and the guys get to pick who they want to date??  Um...  nope.  I may, legit, never watch again.  So brutal.

What are your thoughts on Chris and Whitney as well as on the new Bachelorette spin?  Leave your comments below and don't forget to "Like" Midtown Diaries' Facebook page to stay up to date on all the news!