After Chris' season, I took a solemn vow that I would never watch The Bachelor/ette again. I absolutely hated when Kaitlyn and Britt "competed" to be The Bachelorette and, in response, I put my foot down. I was done. Finito. I didn't watch The Bachelorette, I didn't talk about The Bachelorette and I certainly didn't write about The Bachelorette. As the new year approached, I could feel a pull... I tried to deny it. "Don't feed the hunger!", I told myself. "You're stronger than this!", I told myself in the mirror.
I cracked. Monday night, at 8pm, with the remote control clasped in my shaking hands, raw instincts took over. Before I knew it, I was being lulled by Chris Harrison's voice and I couldn't take my eyes off of the television. You guys know I can't resist Chris Harrison... I mean... did you see his pic in GQ??
Considering I had boycotted Kaitlyn's season, I knew absolutely nothing about this Ben character. First impression? Ah-dorbs!! He is sooooooo cuuuuuuute. He comes across as a pretty normal dude. His energy reminds me a bit of Sean but less virgin-y. He has a confidence about him but in a way that will likely put the girls at ease. My only complaint (so far) is that he was only shown with his shirt off once and it was for less than 15 seconds.
The girls' intro videos are always pretty entertaining but only really show you a glimpse at the total nutbars and the ones with sad stories. So far, this season has fewer tragedies than usual and seemingly more nutbars. I'm sure the waterworks and drunken confessions will come out soon.
When it comes to any reality TV show, I loathe "twin twists". Twins?!? That's just cruel. First of all, no one (but mostly not Ben) will be able to tell them apart and keep them straight. They'll have to come up with some sort of "I wear blue" or "My braid is always on the left" gimic. One will always be crying and the other will always be telling her to get over it. The crying one will try to be all noble and walk off the show because her sister "deserves" to win only to find out that Ben liked the crying one better and he won't give the mean one a rose. I bet the producers sit around drinking and think of ways they can mess with everyone's emotions. I would.
You know what I dislike as much, if not more, than twin twists?! I'll tell you. I haaaaaate when past contestants are brought back. (who's Amber?!) I loved Becca and think she's a total sweetheart but it causes so much tension in the house. The only good thing that can come from bringing back past contestants is me using the "who is she" pic of Elyse which I do at least 6 times a season and occasionally in my personal life.
I actually have that picture on the desktop of my computer so I can break it out at any and every opportunity. If you didn't watch Ben Flajnik's season if The Bachelor, here is all you need to know:
Although we viewers didn't get to see all of the girls in action last night, here are some of my (judgey) first impressions:
Samantha reminds me of Becca in her gentle nature. I worry that, sometimes, the more introverted nice girls don't get the attention they should in the beginning. I couldn't even find a picture of Sam by googling "Samantha bachelor Ben". Hopefully Ben will forget about her (along with the rest of the viewers) for a while but then have an amazing date and everyone will be like "Who the heck is Sam?" and you'll know... you'll know.
Jubilee = terrifying. She is one bad ass lady! She's a military vet and could kick my a$$ is about 10 seconds flat. She certainly has her eye on the prize and said "There may be some casualties but all is fair in love and war" during her intro. Assertive and tough girls don't tend to go far on The Bachelor. I hope she is able to show him a bit of a softer side and let her guard down a bit. I admire her strength and drive but it would be great to see her in a relaxed or playful setting so that Ben can get to know her better.
The Bachelor loves giving dentists a bad name. Since Ashley Hebert, there are always crazy dentists or dental hygienists. Mandi is no exception. A friend once told me that you can never trust a girl with close-set eyes. Case and point.
Amanda was my absolute front-runner for the first impression rose. She is cute cute cute cute and her little daughters are cuter cuter cuter. Being divorced with two kids at age 25 has got to be rough. I find that the mom's on The Bachelor are typically a bit more mature and ready for a serious relationship than others their age. They've put up with a ton of crap from past relationships and have so much at stake throughout the process. Amanda's helium voice does make me twitch a tiny bit but I predict that Ben will be drawn to her quickly.
Have we learned nothing from casting Tierra/Tiara's? If you didn't watch Sean's season of The Bachelor, you really should. Even if it's just Episode 5 where the ladies pack their bags and head to Jasper/Banff, Alberta, I won't ruin the whole season but Tierra turns out to be a crazy crazy person and looks like this after spending about 5 minutes in the cold:
.... I digress. This season's Tiara is a self-proclaimed chicken enthusiast and, although she seems quitesweet and normal, we'll never know if there is a crazy bird lady in there just
waiting to fly the coop.
JoJo is one of the most beautiful girls in the house. Unfortunately, she was wearing a totally weird unicorn head when she came out of the limo. I predict JoJo will go far. Is it too early to call a Final 3?? If I looked like that, I would never wear a unicorn head.
I had incredibly high hopes for Laura. She was definitely out of her element and may have lacked the confidence to really stand out against all of the other girls. I thought she would get a rose for sure. T even picked her as the winner (amateur...).
Lace, Lace, Lace. I was going to use her headshot but you probably wouldn't recognize her when she's smiling. Her face looked like this most of the night. I've heard horror stories of how late these tapings go and how the girls are provided with minimal food and unlimited booze. That is a recipe for disaster for most women. The vino may be bringing out Lace's true colors but I do look forward to seeing her manipulate Ben into liking her and have all the other girls warn him behind her back.
I was so surprised to see Jessica leave without a rose. She immediately put Ben at ease and he seemed so into her. 
Jackie is so sweet! If she can stand out against all of the crazies and establish a close relationship with Ben quickly, I can see her as a Top 5 gal.
Olivia is stunnnnnning. She makes Ben so nervous but in a good way. He couldn't take his eyes off of her and, gave her the first impression rose. Wouldn't she look amazing with a Cameron Diaz-esque short bob? (yes she would). Also- I hope she wears her hair curly in the coming weeks.
Overall, I'm excited about this season. I love being judgey and rolling my eyes at everything ever but let's be real- I wouldn't last 30 seconds in that house. I'd be completely drunk napping in the corner by myself. These ladies obviously have guts and tons of confidence and I look forward to witnessing their social and romantic demise as the weeks go by. Comments? Predictions? Leave me a note below or tweet me @midtowndiaries.
No comments:
Post a Comment