Guest Blog: Going with all your heart

After receiving an overwhelming response from brave and brilliant friends, here is the first of (hopefully) many guest blogs about lessons learned in our 20's.  

As I approach the end of my twenties I have actually put a lot of thought into where I came from and where I want to go. I have grown and matured more than my 19 year old self would have ever thought possible. There are a few lessons, that although were hard at the time, I will always hold in my heart.

Always be prepared. This doesn’t mean don’t be spontaneous. If you want to book a trip on a whim, go for it. It means, know your goals and work for them. Your dream life isn’t going to fall into your lap. You may not get everything you want but figure out what is important to you and work for it.  

Go with all your heart. Whether it’s a new job, a new relationship or travel, put your whole heart into it. You never know where an opportunity will come from or where life will lead you. Even if you fail or it doesn’t turn out the way you expected, you won’t regret putting yourself out there.

Whenever possible, make from scratch. Homemade is just better. Whether it’s food, knitting or home renovations, there is something special (and healthy) about homemade.  

Celebrate. I enjoy celebrating the little things. It makes me happy. From a promotion to the anniversary of a first kiss, just celebrate, because why not?

A huge thank you to this lovely and thoughtful contributor and friend.  Can you believe this is her first go at blogging?  Please leave her your comments, love and support or join the conversation @darbyvt #allyourheart.

A love letter to my Gal Pals

Don't we all just want to have a friendship like Selena Gomez does with Demi Lovato?!  Just look at them... (You can fulfill your burning desires to see more shocking female celebrity friendships here)

All throughout my life, and especially over the past decade, I've really never understood the importance of surrounding myself with other women.  I had a few close girlfriends in high school and again through university but I've always considered myself to be a bit of a guys' girl.  Hanging out with guys was more relaxed, more fun and a whole lot less work.  For the last half of my time at university, I lived off campus in a 10 bedroom house as the sole female tenant.   To me, spending a lot of time around other girls meant wearing next to nothing at the bar, consuming fruity drinks, wearing make up to go to the library and watching reality dating shows every night (*cough*).

But now that I'm in my almost-30's and facing some pretty major life events, I am really starting to get the importance of strong relationships with girlfriends.  We really do need one another for support, encouragement, non-judgemental crying sessions and general happiness.  You need girlfriends to tell you your scarf is "cute" or how great your new highlights are.  You need them to tell you what pregnancy is actually like and to watch endless videos of Justin Timberlake on Jimmy Fallon.  We shouldn't sit around hating one another because we all have our stories, our struggles, our hormones...  No one loves a good mean-tweet during the Bachelor more than me but (who IS she?!) but I'm learning that no one will be able to relate to me more than my gal pals.  Besides, who is going to chat pop culture topics with me when I'm 100?!

So here's a big cheers and a Happy Valentine's weekend to all of the gorgeous, strong and inspiring women in my life.  Tell me about the wonderful ladies that inspire you @darbyvt #galpals

Some kind of kind

Some recent events have sparked some thoughts about kindness.  In the hustle and bustle of living in a big city, it's often the smallest gestures that I have started to consider so kind.  When you think about it, it doesn't take that much time or energy to lend a quick hand to someone struggling to open a door or to fire off a text to let a friend know you're thinking of them.  A memory came to me last week when I was at that point of just allllllmost being asleep...

When I was in grade 5, my teacher made us read novels and then complete book reports.  He didn't want us to summarize the book or talk about the characters we liked and why.  He gave us lots of options like creating a poster to represent the book, writing a poem or researching the location the book took place.  He also encouraged us to reach out to the author and send them a letter.  I loved to read and therefore really enjoyed writing letters to authors I loved and I would often get generic typed answers in return.  I should note that the class was also reading Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes about a girl in Hiroshima who was attempting to make 1000 paper cranes after being diagnosed with leukaemia.  I sent each author a crane with my letter.

One day, a response came from Nova Scotia author Budge Wilson.  Not only did she personally respond and answer all of my questions about her books and writing (in cursive kids... CURSIVE) but she included a beautiful pack of origami paper so I could continue making cranes.  It just recently occurred to me how incredibly kind that was.  For a complete stranger to go out and find a gift to send to a 10 year old child who happened to read one of her books... It's just so lovely!

I was moved to track Budge down to let her know how vividly I still remember her act of kindness. After some googling, I found her bio and email address.  She is 87 years old and still writing and coming up with new projects.  She thanked me for my note and told me that she still receives letters from young people asking questions about herself and her writing.  She told me that she has a favorite quote about kindness:  "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle".  Believe it or not, I have had that exact quote tacked to the cork board in my living room for a little over a year now.  So great.

What or who inspires you to show your softer, gentler, kinder side?  Please share your stories of kindness below or join the conversation on Twitter @darbyvt #kindofkind

New Year's Goal- Get through winter without having to wear a light therapy visor...

December is really such a tease.  I spent all month admiring beautiful lights and decorations, enjoying good food and drinks with family and friends, feeling merry and briiiiiiiight...

And then January hit me like a ton of bricks.  The first few days were great (despite the 16 bottles of Gatorade I had to chug just to get out of bed).  I felt ambitious, motivated and excited.  THIS is the year.  The year I'll really get it together.  I'll discover the perfect work/home/social balance.  I'll make the most fabulous food while running at least 20km a week.  I'll watch less TV and read more books.  I'll do yoga.  I'll get married (oh God- that actually IS going to happen!!!)...  but then, by the first full week of January I'm already feeling overwhelmed, defeated and I've somehow managed to injure my elbow?!

This winter blues stuff is nothing new for me and I don't think I'm alone.  The cold weather and short days make me feel like a prisoner.  There is nothing appealing about leaving the comfort of my warm living room to go out in the snowpacolypse or -33 degree temperatures.  Then Thursday rolls around and I realize I haven't left the house in three days (thank the stars above that the new season of The Bachelor just started back up!).  The winter makes me feel like I'm at my worst.

As you can imagine, I'm a real joy to live with during this time of year.  T will be accepting applications for temporary fiance swaps soon.  We had a chat last night about what I can be doing to make the winter go by a bit quicker that would also help build my resume without having to wear one of these:

Although the last two "winter projects" (working part time at a Froyo shop and taking an Into to Tea class) helped make the months pass by, they aren't exactly things I feel especially proud of.  I really enjoy working with people but I also find a lot of joy in reading, writing and exploring the online social world.

It took about 2 minutes of googling before I found some really interesting courses in Social Media and Community Management at one of the Toronto colleges downtown.  Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going back to school!!  Again!!  In the Faculty of Business & Legal Studies!!  Wait... what?!  I'm excited to start my first course in Social Media Marketing next week.  

Stay warm out there and please leave me any comments or suggestions you may have on beating those winter doldrums.  You can find me on Twitter @darbyvt.

An Ode to the Neighbourhood Ruiner. You know who you are...

We all know one.  Maybe it was a tattletale sibling or a know-it-all in high school.  Perhaps you it was someone who lived down the hall in residence at university or a neighbour with nothing better to do.  You know who I'm talking about- the classic Ruiner.  Someone who, no matter what, has to ruin things for everyone else just because they are not able to do the same things as you.  If they can't listen to their music loudly after 11, neither can you.  If you have awesome friends who enjoy your company and want to hang out on a Saturday night but they are all alone and have no one to hang out with, they have have to complain at 8pm so no one can have fun. If you... well...  you get the picture.

When we were apartment hunting two summers ago, there was one thing on T's must-have list and that was a patio.  At the time, I didn't really care, but I must admit that it is great to have a little outdoor space or at least be able to throw the door open to get some fresh air.  Our patio is severely under-used already because of a certain neighbour who smokes CONSTANTLY and our patios make an L shape facing each other.  I mean CON...STANT.  It makes it hard to sit out in the evenings because we would literally just be sitting there looking at one another and, after living here for almost two years and not acknowledging the other person, I think we're past the point of striking up conversation.  Although we have been shushed a couple of times when we're outside late at night, Smoking Lady doesn't seem to be that big of a ruiner (her lungs may have a different opinion).  She puts up with poker nights, games nights, football Sundays and birthday celebrations without complaint.

One of the reasons we were excited about our patio was to be able to BBQ.  We asked our landlord about it and she said, as long as no one complains about the smoke, we are good to go.  We bought one of those table top grills and went to cooking.  Everything was great for a few weeks.  Then... you know it... we got a knock on our door from a RUINER.  Although she doesn't live that close to us, she noticed T was out BBQ'ing and wanted to come have a chat.  She didn't want to rustle any feathers but informed T that she had received a complaint about her BBQ.  T explained that we had checked with the landlord and she explained that she was no longer able to cook outside so we shouldn't be either.  What... a... ruiner.

Since then, I've been trying to come up with a really yummy burger on our electric skillet and, after two years or mixing, adding, tasting, hmmm'ing and haaaa'ing, I've done it!  The secret- keep the meat super simple and then make one or two really delicious toppings to enhance the flavour.

Here's what you'll need:
1 lb ground beef
1 egg (beaten)
1/4 cup of plain oatmeal
1/4 tsp of salt
1/2 tsp of ground pepper (or to taste)

Preheat electric skillet to 375 degrees.  Mix up all of the ingredients together in a bowl.  Form the mixture into 4-5 patties.  Toss the patties on the skillet for 4 minutes before flipping.  Try not to press them down or move them around.  4 minutes will put a good sear on the meat.  Flip the burgers and leave them for another 4-5 minutes.  If the meat isn't cooked all the way through, just keep them on a bit longer.  Try not to overcook the burgers as you will end up with a dense meatloaf patty instead of a juicy burger.  When patties are cooked through, through some grated Monterey Jack to melt.  I typically grill some onions while the burgers are cooking as it brings out the sweetness a bit more.  Toast buttered buns for 5 minutes on 350 degrees in the oven before serving.

Now for my new found favorite homemade topping- Garlic Aioli.  I searched online and stumbled upon this really simply but incredibly yummy recipe from All Recipes.com.  It went so well with the meat and gave the burgers a more restaurant/gourmet feel than the usual backyard style ketchup/mustard/mayonaise.

Thinly chop some lettuce and throw on a slice of tomato and you have yourself a delicious grown up style burger for the effort and cost of a quick weekday meal.  Enjoy!

Comments or suggestions?  I'd love to hear from you below or tweet me @darbyvt.

The happiest crazy I've ever been... Tales from a Bride-to-Be

Holy moly...  It has been one heck of a long time since I have visited all of your computer screens.  I've missed you and have been waiting on the perfect time to reconnect.  In truth, I've been a complete head case and I haven't washed my hair for about three days.

I won't even complain though because this is the happiest crazy I've ever been.  During our vacation in Jamaica last month, T popped the question and we're getting maaaaarrrrrrried!!  All of my ooo'ing and ahhh'ing at my friends' beautiful husbands and wives has paid off and I can't be more excited.  The love and support we have received over the past few weeks has been overwhelming in the best way possible.

We're less than a month into our engagement and I'm already starting to understand why brides can turn a little nutty while planning for their big day.  Every bride friend I know has seemed so calm, gracious and friendly but, I know now, there is a bridezilla inside every woman just waiting to come out.

Just in the past week I admit to having done the following:
1.  Planned at least 3 weddings already on Pinterest that will likely, in no way, resemble my our actual wedding
2.  Decided to drink several beers on my birthday which ended in weeping in my best friend's arms while asking her to be my maid of honour (she said "yes"!)  Another friend was later found sitting alone at the bus stop down the street with a bag of 15 McD's burgers (atta boy!)
3.  Refused to drink Steamwhistle for the rest of my life because their really gorgeous event space is booked up until November 2014
4.  Broke down crying at the dinner table on Mother's Day infront of my future in-laws while being asked very general and not-at-all emotional questions about our plans.  My favorite advice afterward came from a newly wed friend which wasn't "Awww... are you ok?" or "What happened?!"  It was "Oh yeah.  Get used to it.  It won't be the last time that happens."  :)  Thanks E!
5.  Yelled "I'm getting really pissed off!" in a crazy demonic voice I've never heard before when T left the room for two seconds while I was talking to him about wedding stuff
6.  Caught T staring at my ring and actually believe I will wake up next to Gollum one day
7.  Got in the habit of taking "dance breaks" during wedding planning which turn into muffin baking breaks which turn into Candy Crush breaks which turn into tweeting Chris Harrison to officiate the wedding which...  you get the picture.

My friends and T's cousins have been instrumental in reminding me that all of this really is supposed to be fun and I have to see the humour in it to keep myself (and poor T) as sane as possible.  I promise I won't be "that girl" that shares cute lyrics or quites from Jerry McGuire (but maybe Titanic).  I won't post 12 million pictures of my ring (ok... just one!)

After seeing this pic, my Dad told
me I watch too many wedding shows on TV

...or engagement photos kissing by a brick wall (stucco is the new brick anyway!).  But I may share silly antidotes that will hopefully make you laugh or at least consider eloping with the one you love.

**If any wedding vendors or venues are reading this right now, I will completely sell out and shamelessly promote your products in exchange for free stuff.

Questions?  Comments?  Marital advice??  Write me a note below or tweet me @darbyvt.

Back to cooking next time :)

A timely inspiration and GRC Week 10: Salsa-Stuffed Muffin Meatloaf

When was the last time you were truly inspired by someone?  Have you sat across from someone lately who goes about their life and career with such passion and care that it just oozes out of them?

I've been off the wagon a bit over the past few weeks.  It's been difficult to be focused and to figure out what I need to be working toward in the not-to-distant future.  It may sound strange but I really look up to people who have their shit together.  Luckily, I don't know too many people my age who really have it all figured out but that's what your 20's are for right?!  That whole decade (or at least a good chunk) is a time to make mistakes, stay out too late, get day drunk, cry in public washrooms and just figure out where you fit.

Today I met for coffee with a woman who is the epitome of shit-togetherness.  A work colleague introduced us to chat about some potential professional development opportunities and I walked away feeling like a new person.  She has been in her profession for more years than I but she was so insightful and lovely to hang out with.  As cliche as it sounds, she really opened my eyes to the fact that I'm putting myself in a much smaller box than I should be.  I've started to believe that what I do now is simply what I should continue doing but that's not at all true.

So what's next?  I have no idea.  I was too captivated by my coffee date's loveliness and I forgot to beg her to tell me what to do now.  I'll start with picking up Life of Pi and see where that takes me.

As I head to the kitchen to make some dinner, I will leave you with this flavour (and protein!) filled Salsa-Stuffed Muffin Meatloaves from CBC's Best Recipes Ever.  I love this recipe because you could easily substitute the beef for any other ground meat or meat substitute.  Using salsa as a sauce instead of something with a lot of sugar is a great way to make a meal a bit healthier.  Pair it with some cooked carrots or green beans and you're set!

Please send along your comments, suggestions, recipes or life-changing moments in the comment section below or on Twitter @darbyvt