First comes love then comes marriage. Then comes...

I have to admit- life is treating me pretty well!  I'm settling in to a new job while getting used to being called by a new last name.  I'm only a month into married life but T and I are really excited about seeing what the future has in store for us.

Needless to say,  I have a lot to be thankful for.  But, as I'm sure all young couples can testify, there is a whole lot of pressure that comes with being in a long term loving relationship (married or not).  The question I have come to dread is: 

It's not so much the topic that bothers me.  I think it's perfectly natural to wonder if a couple wants kids or is planning to have kids in the future.  It feels great to have friends and family encouraging us to join forces and send a bunch of D&T Mini-Me's out into the world.  That being said, I can't help but feel a bit defensive when the response to things like "I have a new job" and "We just got married!" is "When are you having babies?!"

I know there is only good intent behind these comments but it adds a lot of pressure that is hard to push aside.  Now, for the moment you've all been waiting for, YES.  We do want children and absolutely intend on taking you all up on your offers to babysit when our children actually exist but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Although we see the Facebook and Instagram pictures 9 months later, I know that pregnancy, or even conceiving for that matter, is complex and not a smooth ride for a lot of women.  I have had some incredibly honest and beautiful conversations with friends lately who have shared stories of fear, trauma and even loss during their pregnancies.  For some, they tried years to have a child.  A few friends waited years to try.  One friend planned the day she would conceive but had a horrible pregnancy and a dangerous birth.  

The whole thing is really scary and overwhelming but it must have been this way for our cousins, aunts, mothers and grandmothers too.  I suppose maybe it's easier now to connect online and join the discussion with other women and families who may be seeking support or advice for topics that feel too personal over family dinner.  

Do you or have you struggled with feelings of uncertainly or insecurity when it comes to planning for children?  Am I being a crazy person and have nothing to worry about?  Join the conversation @midtowndiaries #wombworries