Chris' Final Rose- the least dramatic finale yet!

Well... it's over.  Finito.  Fini.  Chris has handed out his final rose. After that who's-the-next-Bachelorette announcement, it might be the final time I ever watch this stupid show.

I digress...

No one wasted any time getting right in to the action last night.  From the very first scene in the show, Chris was absolutely gushing over Whitney's qualities and how amazing she he.  He then went on to say how slowly things were progressing with Becca and how unsure he was about her feelings for him.

The finale is usually tense and filled with questions and emotion.  The girls get to spend time with the Bachelor's family and this never goes smoothly.  There is always an over-protective mom, a crazy big sister or a brother who wants to show off his gun collection.  Chris brought the girls back to Iowa which provided a major home court advantage for the Soules.  They are friggin' awesome.  Everyone not only adores, but completely trusts, Chris.  They are protective but open and truly want what's best for Chris.

Whitney showed up for her visit with the Soules in the shortest shirt-dress I have every seen.  It was snowing out and the girl had the nerve to come running out of that SUV in sheer tights!  Not even leggings!  She was very  out going and a bit too in-your-face for initially meeting a group of people but, that being said, her ability to be open and sincere is what drew everyone to her.  Watching Whitney interact with Chris' mom and sisters proved that she's a total girl's girl and can really roll with all of the Soules ladies.  She was able to express how much she, not only loves Chris, but longs to be a part of a family again since losing her parents.  Blending in was easy and natural for her.

Becca was at a huge disadvantage since Whitney had already won over the entire Soules family.  They all knew that Chris was in a really different place with Becca and, if those Soule sistas had a few seconds with Chris Harrison, they probably would have arranged the proposal with Whitney themselves.  You really can't compare Becca and Whitney.  Becca brings completely different things to the table.  She has a much calmer presence and puts people at ease by using humour.  She had Chris' mom cracking up.  She's light but also serious.  She's more "simple" than Whitney but I think that's what Chris really liked about her.  She has different sides to her where Whitney is peppy and "on" all the time.  I don't think Whitney is at all fake but Chris saw more range in Becca's personality and got to experience a bit more with her.

Chris' mom was tough on Becca but in a really loving way.  She clearly saw what Chris loved about her but needed to push a bit.  I have mad respect for Becca being, perhaps the only girl in Bachelor history, so true to herself and not falling victim to Bachelor Fever.  So many times, we've seen guys and girls get caught up in the glitz and glam and not be completely sure.  Brooks got completely raked over the coals for leaving Des' season but thank goodness for Andi setting a new standard for the ladies when she dumped Juan Pablo (on his season!) but let's be serious...

Becca was so honest despite the pressure she must have been feeling from all directions.  She's one strong chica and I love that she kept it real all season.  She wasn't as open and willing to take a risk as Whitney was but she stayed incredibly strong and kept looking out for #1- herself.

When Chris went to visit Becca in her hotel, they sat down for a real talk and Chris asks "Why don't you feel like you're in love with me?"  Ummm...  Maybe because you've been dating 24 girls on a TV show for only a couple of months...  I'm happy for Whitney that she's all in and will up and move and get married and have babies but, you can't blame Becca for questioning what she would even do in Arlington.  I'm a firm believer that you have to be really solid with yourself before you can be solid in a relationship.  It bothers me that Chris kept alluding to the fact that, if Becca doesn't fall in love with him, he'll have to pick Whitney.  If he wants to be with Becca and is falling for her, he shouldn't have to default to another girl.

Chris brought Whitney to the farm and let her see a real day in the life.  He's obviously an incredibly passionate guy but, as much pride as he has in what he does, there is still a lot of insecurity around his lifestyle.  He seemed really nervous to show Whitney his house even though it's a great pad!  Sure- it needs a bit of a woman's touch but it's a promising starting point.  When I met my husband, his dining room table had one purpose- beer pong.  The more time Whitney spent with Chris, the more sure she was that she wants this.  She admitted she's scared and doesn't know exactly what she's getting herself into but, unlike Becca, she's willing to give it a shot and take the risk with an open heart.

It came time for the big day and Becca and Whitney got summoned to the Soules family barn where Chris "raised his very first pig".  Touching.  The barn was actually unreal gorgeous with chandeliers, stained glass windows and candles (fire hazard much?!).

Becca's outfit was total foreshadowing for how things would turn out for her- horrible.  What was that, velour!?  Who wore it best?!  P-Diddy or Becca?  

I know that pickings are probably slim at the consignment shop in Arlington but come on...  Becca is drop-dead gorgeous (did you see her at after the final rose?!) and that dress did nothing for her.  Anywhoo...  That was probably one of the most shocking break-ups in Bachelor history simply because, although sad, Becca seemed relieved.  She clearly felt very strongly for Chris and things probably would have worked out for them but they just ran out of time.  Becca wasn't willing to "go there" so quickly and I think she was ready for the whole thing to be over one way or the other.  No running make up, no ugly crying, not even a "Why doesn't he love me?!".  All class, Becca.

As Whitney pulled up to the barn, she gasped "Holy cow".  I will stifle my commentary...  She was shaking like a leaf with nerves.  Once she and Chris were together she couldn't shut up and wouldn't let the poor guy get a word in.  She's probably gotten used to him "not being allowed" to tell her his feelings but, what Whitney doesn't know, is he's actually just incredibly inarticulate and out of touch with his feelings.  I didn't foresee a ring box coming out of Chris' pocket.  I thought Whitney would get the rose but he would ask her to give him some more time.  What do I know though?!

Chris really couldn't lose with either one of these girls.  Becca was a bigger risk but perhaps a greater reward as well?  

After the Final Rose was tame and without tears.  I would comment on the upcoming season of The Bachelorette but I can't even go there yet.  Britt!?  What?!  Really?!  Two Bachelorettes and the guys get to pick who they want to date??  Um...  nope.  I may, legit, never watch again.  So brutal.

What are your thoughts on Chris and Whitney as well as on the new Bachelorette spin?  Leave your comments below and don't forget to "Like" Midtown Diaries' Facebook page to stay up to date on all the news!  

Women Tell... each other off... And other thoughts on The Bachelor

My sincere apologies for being completely M.I.A lately.  I've been so caught up in things going on at home and at work and Justin Bieber's birthday falling on a Sunday this year really threw me off.

Luckily, I snapped out of my birthday cake induced coma just in time to spend an evening with 20 or so of my closest eliminated Bachelor contestants.

I always get a good laugh out of the "Crash the party" segments where Chris Harrison (swoon) and the Bachelor show up at viewing parties.  I know there must be some sort of pre-plan and the parties know that production or someone is showing up but it is legit hilar.  I don't even care who the Bachelor is.  If Chris Harrison came to my house any day, I'd die.  I've been keeping a journal of things I need advice about just in case I meet him one day.  He is the best.  I really want to find the house full of drunk girls at the end of the segment and invite them to my birthday party.  Seriously though... Chris Harrison is amazing.

There is a villain during every season of The Bachelor/ette but there seemed to be a lot of legit hurt feelings and distrust between this group of girls.  Of course, the first gal up in the hot seat was Britt who truly thought Carly was her friend.  The proof?  Britt: "I was sitting on your bed crying!  I put cucumbers on my eyes from my salad!!".  Obviously Britt has never heard of a frenemy.

It's tragic that Britt believes she would still be with Chris if it hadn't been for Carly.  Britt clearly isn't a mean spirited person and I don't think she's trying to be fake.  I do believe that she got a bit wrapped up in the show and in the glamour of it all.  She has a very intense personality and I don't know if Chris would have been able to keep up with her.  Britt was quick to blame production and Carly for tainting her love story.  I think Carly is hilarious and I admire her quick wit.  That being said, she did get busted a few times last night for saying funny but hurtful things about several of the girls.  She may have learned to be more gentle and kind with her humour last night.  

Can I just say one more thing about Chris Harrison?  How adorbs was it when he was sitting on the couch making sure Britt was okay during the commercial break?  There she was crying all over the place and he just sat there and listened.  I mean...

Kelsey, Kelsey, Kelsey...  what is left to say about Kelsey?  One compliment I will give is that girl can rock a jewel tone!  Her new bangs kept falling in her face which drove me friggin' nuts.  If Kelsey was my kid's guidance counsellor, I would find another school district.  Even the tiniest tad of humility could serve her really well.  Kelsey appeared to be a front-runner in the beginning.  She seemed sweet, sincere and did have a touching story about losing her husband at such a young age.  That being said, her "greater than thou" attitude rubbed everyone the wrong way, including Chris.  

Kelsey was sniffling and snuffling through her whole interview but was missing one key ingredient in crying- tears.  When Chris Harrison (yum) asked Kelsey why she thought that girls don't like her, her answer was "I hear they don't like me because I'm condescending and I use big words."  She somehow found a way to be condescending while trying to tell us she's not condescending.  Uggg.  She is clearly misunderstood and, although she was given lots of chances to explain and clear things up, she really just dug herself deeper holes with all of the girls.  Who cares what KardAshley thinks really because she was just as mean, if not more so, to and about Kelsey.  But it's safe to say Kelsey won't be appearing in many Instagram after-party selfies this morning.

We finally get a chance to catch up with Ashley S. and she has gone back on her meds after her health insurance must have run out when she came to L.A.  Holy moly...

There's no denying that Ashley is batshit cray odd but she did show (a bit) more of a "normal" side to her last night.  She told Chris that she found it difficult to take the process seriously with all of the cameras and drama.  She enjoys riding bikes and being silly so it was her natural reaction to block out out of bit of the crazy with... well... crazy!  I think she was really out of her element but also probably messing with us all too.  I will likely tune in to the premiere of Bachelor in Paradise just to see what goes down.  Way to try and boost ratings, ABC!

Being dumped right after hometown visits is the ultimate diss.  If I was Jade, I would go on a rampage with my family being like "What did you say to him?!" "Why did you show him the picture of me with a mullet in grade 5?!" To be fair, the girl with the normal house and lower to middle class family rarely makes it to the fantasy suite.  Vienna was the rare exception in Jake's season.  She lived on a friggin' alligator farm (which later appeared on an episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians).  There's always a sibling to blame and Jade's brother referring to her as a "wild mustang" was a pink flag if not full out red.  It was just so opposite to what Chris had seen in her personality (or lack thereof).  

People can absolutely grow and change but Jade is 28 and likely in that "been there done that" stage when it comes to partying and posing nude for Playboy...  That being said, Chris probably realized that maybe he didn't know her well at all and he saw a more deep rooted connection with Becca, Kaitlyn and Whitney.

Kaitlyn was the last girl eliminated before the Final Rose ceremony.  She really does seem awesome.  She's smart, funny and has a great spirit.  I didn't love her abrupt style of humour at first but she grew on me as the season went on.  I love her confidence and can see her as the next Bachelorette.  She reminds me of both Andi and Ali.  She's fun-loving and confident, nice but sassy.  I also want her and Jillian Harris to team up on a design show, mostly because they're both from Canada.

Finally, the man of the hour, Chris Soules comes out to face all of the women he's dumped in our living rooms over the past few months.  He was so nervous that his facial muscles were twitching.  He is seriously the worst communicator ever.  I know it's a lot to be confronted by all of these girls with the cameras on your and a live studio audience but this guy makes a French Canadian hockey player sound like Shakespeare!  Chris dodges questions and uses cliche lines that are more offensive than helpful.  When Kaitlyn asked what happened and why she was sent home, he told her, at that point it was like "throwing darts in the dark".  I guess she got the bullseye.  Brutal.  

I don't have high hopes for Chris' relationship with Whitney or Becca.  He is a nice enough guy but he's a bit of a snoozefest and doesn't seem all that tuned in to women's emotional needs.  I was much more of a fan when he was on The Bachelorette.  He's just not willing to move or compromise.  His greatest asset is the dowry of farm animals his parents could offer up.  The women, in this season, are expected to give up so much more than Chris is and, to top it all off, they had to suffer through really shitty trips and dates.  The Badlands- America's Romance Capital.  Come on now...

My best bet is that Chris will pick Whitney in the finale but he should pick Becca.  I don't foresee an engagement as this back-to-Iowa-to-meet-the-Soules will bring out every insecurity Chris has about Arlington and making the right decision.

The Women Tell All ended on a real Dr. Philism as Chris Harrison promoted his new romance novel coming to a bookstore near you in May.  

Looking forward to watching the finale and hearing what you all have to say along the way.  Please leave your predictions below or follow along on Twitter @midtowndiaries.

The Final 6! The Bachelor recap Week 7

First things first- what the hell, ABC?!  Are you not aware that Sunday night of the long weekend offered some of the best TV of the year and I can't simply pass up a 3.5h SNL 40th year special just because Chris is bringing a few girls to Iowa.  Come on now...

We're getting down to crunch time.  Chris is starting to develop really strong relationships with most of the girls and then there are some floaters like Megan.  She's a great gal and, unlike lots who have been in that situation before her, she was honest with herself and honest with Chris about not feeling a strong connection.  She wasn't there to "win.  It's way harder to have that tough conversation than to keep acting like it might happen so koodoos to her.

There's still going to be a rose ceremony even though Megan sent herself home??  Jade seems like the odd girl out.  She's a lot quieter and seems less sure of herself than the other girls.  That being said, maybe that's a good thing as she can fit herself into Chris' life a little easier.  Oh- just kidding.  No rose ceremony...  carry on.

"WE'RE GOING TO IOWA!" said nobody ever while jumping up and down.  Usually the Bachelor/Bachelorette only takes the contestants home if there is a child involved.  Remember when Nikki had to go to Camilla's dance recital and sit beside Juan Paoblo's baby momma?  Awkwaaarddd...

With the exception of the girls being jealous of Britt, it seems as though everyone is getting along well and they want good things for each other.

Jade is picked for the first one-on-one and she gets invited to spend the day in Chris' home"town" of Arlington.  "So much corn.  Oh- ducks!  Hmmm... a dirt road.  Wild grass.  Holy shit, this is happening."  - Jade's reaction to driving into Arlington.  

If you ever drive into a town and see a sign like this (see above), turn around.  I come from a small town but at least we're the "Balsam Fir Christmas Tree Capital of the World".  That's big time.  If your new boyfriend's town doesn't brag about being the home of something, that's a red flag.  Geez, Arlington- just make something up!

Chris has such pride in his life and his work.  It's really nice to see him in his element and now I understand the importance of bringing the girls home.  The glitz and glam (of Santa Fe and Deadwood...) got stripped away and they're left with the real Chris.  Which is what they'll have when this whole thing is over.  I hate it when I see douches like Juan Paoblo who think they're sooo cool after their seasons although some former Bachelor/Bachelorettes have done great things with their new found celebrity status.  Take Ali for instance- that girl is killing it now.  It's safe to say, Chris will not be reporting live from the red carpet any time soon and the girls need to know they probably won't either (ehem... Britt...).

Speaking of Britt- shut uppppp.  She's such a whiner and is the epitome of the girl who is looking to "win" rather than establish a future with someone.  

This date is huge for Jade.  Chris is so open and relaxed showing Jade around.  I think he's nervous about how the girls will react to Arlington and rightfully so.  That place is rough!

I'm really curious to see Jade's hometown.  She is lacking a certain confidence and it sounds like there are some skeletons in her closet.  That being said, she may be the best personality to fit into a quieter lifestyle and she could probably really benefit from his close-knit family and community.

Whitney is picked for the second one-on-one and they head to the "big city" of Des Moine.  She really has such a great spirit and energy.  She's upbeat and positive but genuine and smart.  She's always up for anything.  Hearing Whitney speak about the death of her mom was refreshing in a weird way.  She really opened up but talked about what a blessing her mom was and how important family is to her because of everything she's gone through.  She wasn't looking for sympathy and it said a lot about her strength and outlook on life.

Meanwhile, the rest of the girls take a roadtip to Arlington to check things out.  Kaitlyn's Anchorman reference "It's quite pungent.  It stings the nostrils" is everything.  She just scored so many points with me.

Whitney and Chris leave the restaurant to find a huge mural of themselves outside on the restaurant wall.  Well...  I guess Chris can never take another date there...

Jade confides in Carly that she has posed nude for Playboy.  As a result, Jade's Twitter following just skyrocketed with boyfriends and husbands of Bachelor viewers.  Imagine your dad found out that you did nude photoshoots for Playboy from his buddies?!  Yikes!  

The group date takes Carly, Kaitlyn and Britt to the nearest hockey arena.  I like when guys have dates that show their vulnerabilities a bit.  The group date was great because Chris couldn't skate so the girls didn't have to worry about looking silly if they couldn't either.  

Chris is totally drunk on Britt.  He can't possibly picture being in Arlington with her.  That being said, he must really respect Carly because, when he pulled Britt aside for the second time, he did ask the hard  questions.  Her answers sucked and had nothing to do with making a life together with Chris.  

I'm trying to figure out who is going to have the craziest family during hometowns.  Kaitlyn made a comment about being nervous about her dad which gives me flashbacks to past seasons when dads have shown off their gun collections.  Does Chris have a passport to get into Canada?

All of the girls are really different from one another so it's interesting to see their relationships with Chris change and grow.  The hometowns, as always, are so important and will give Chris some insight.  Did Britt just say they have dinner in the living room on paper plates and eat bits and pieces of each other's meals?  Chris has been really open sharing his family and lifestyle so going home with the girls will help make things a bit more clear.

Britt...  didn't I tell you to shut uppppp before?  It's the Bachelor.  Your boyfriend is going to be dating many other women.  She acts like she's being victimized when Chris shows the other girls attention.  Chris is realizing that she is a lot to handle and I hope the spell she has on him will be broken before the rose ceremony.

The preview for tonight's episode shows Chris with Becca, Kaitlyn and Jade in their hometowns which leaves Whitney, Carly and Britt up in the air.  What are your thoughts?  Who are your favorites?  Who will leave Iowa broken hearted?  Leave your comments below!

Rivals, Country Songs and Crocodile Tears- Bachelor Recap Week 6

Ei yai yai!  Things are certainly heating up with the ladies as Week 6 sheds the light on who is making it, who is faking it and how big of a mouth Chris has.

Last week was a cliff-hanger although every preview showed Kelsey rolling around on the floor saying "I can't breathe".  Girl- if you are talkin', you're breathin'.  I don't necessarily think she was faking.  She clearly has some issues with expressing herself in appropriate ways but, that being said, I don't believe she was in a crisis situation that constituted flailing on the floor needing oxygen.  Asking for Chris when she was in that predicament is ridiculous.  The last thing I would want my new boyfriend to see is me in the middle of a panic attack getting attended to by medics.

As expected, KardAshley was super mean about the whole thing.  I would be rolling my eyes and hoping Kelsey didn't get a rose too but Ashley just needs to shush those massive over-done lips.





On to the cocktail hour or, as Chris says- "cacktail".  Chris is really not the most expressive fellow.  His mini rants make so sense and the girls stand there with looks on their faces as though they have NO idea what he's talking about.

I can't believe Samantha got sent home.  Mostly because I keep forgetting she's there and then the camera shows her 1/2 a time per episode and I'm like- "Oh yeah- Sam's a person".  So mostly, I can't believe there's a girl named Sam on the show.  It's also a shame about MacKenzie- her hair was just starting to get settled.

L.A. MacKenzie

Santa Fe MakKenzie

As the girls continue to get stamps on their passports... oh wait- they haven't left the midwest yet... Chris admits "I'm not into drama.  I'm just looking to have a bit of fun.  That's why we're coming to Deadwood".  How romantic.

Becca needs a chance to push her way up to the top and she finally gets her one-on-one.  She seems like a cool girl and actually way prettier when she's dressed down.  I think it will be a great change of pace for Chris after all of the craziness going on as of late.

When Becca tells Chris that she's insecure about communication in relationships, Chris assures her that he's a really good communicator.  Let's take a look at how effective his communication has been with Britt:

  

This season is making virgins out to be people who can't touch a member of the opposite sex or show affection to someone they like.  At least Becca isn't making a big deal about it to Chris but her interviews make her seem a bit confused on where her "line" is.  Chris was a gentleman for giving her a peck when he gave her the rose but I'm glad she went back in for more and got the full on make-out.

The group date really was the "most shocking date ever" but the element of surprise had nothing to do with the girls.  The real shocker was finding out Big & Rich are potentially still relevant in the country music world.  I watched John Rich on Celebrity Apprentice and he killed it raising a bazillion dollars for his charity and being an all-around great contestant.  He must have really connected with Gary Busey off camera that same season because "Big" of Big & Rich is Busey in a crazy hat.  

Big & Rich (or is it Gary Busey and John Rich?! Right??)

The girls are tasked to write and perform a love song.  This date definitely brought out some insecurities in some of the girls but showed a light-hearted and fun side to others.  Jade has clearly never listened to country music before as she said "It's hard to write a love song when he's clearly into someone else"  Ummm...  hello- every achy breaky song in country music history has that exact scenario.  You can't script broken heart and torn emotion better than that.

Carly sings for a living but her performance was only slightly less awkward than when her brother, Zak, sang to Des at The Men Tell All but way less awkward than when Kasey sang a capella to Ali . Let's relive.  My favorite part is at 0:36 followed closely by 1:00-1:01.  Wasn't this the date where he didn't get the rose and she left him alone on a mountain?

Quick update- Kasey is now a bar brawler.  http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2013/05/vienna-girardis-ex-kasey-kahl-will-serve-180-days-community-service-for-12-bar-brawl/

Jade is the first girl to talk to Chris about how shes can see herself in Iowa and living the Farmer's Wife life.  I think she is really into Chris and but her feelings may be blinding her a little bit.  She moved from a small town to L.A. to pursue modelling and start a cosmetics line and she shouldn't abandon that for the possibility of love. 

  

Britt and Chris are so ridiculously attracted to each other.  They can't keep their hands (or their lips) to themselves.  That being said, the attraction seems really shallow and surface.  They haven't really gotten to know one another because they spend all their time sucking face and having outlandish dates.  She will definitely be the girl who the winner of this season is jealous of for all eternity and will never allow Chris to interact with her again.

The folks at ABC must have called the producers from Millionaire Matchmaker because these girls are looking awfully sober lately.  Patti has a strict 2 drink minimum which is great advice in the real world but horrible advice when you're supposed to be entertaining millions of people for two hours every Monday night.  Less articulating your feels in a clear way; more drunken blubbering!

Chris runs off to a Big & Rich concert with Britt while the other girls wait around for over an hour.  When they return, the ladies are piisssssed and with reason.  Chris gets to just pop by, make things really awkward then ditch Britt to deal with everyone.  At least give Britt the rose then send the other girls home to continue the night with a one-on-one.  Don't leave the other girls sitting there waiting.  

Classic two-on-one date scenario- rivals!  The Bachelor has a tendency, more so than The Bachelorette, to put rivals together on group dates or, even more heartbreaking, best friends!  Who could forget Ashley S. and Ashley H. during Brad's season.  Luckily, neither one of them ended up with Brad since he's a greasy doucheball.

I wonder what Kelsey will think when she watches herself back.  In my experience, those who spend all their time talking about how smart they are, aren't that smart.  Kelsey comes across incredibly condescending and has obviously rubbed everyone the wrong way.  My first impression of her was positive.  In her attempt to come across strong, poised, articulate and intelligent, she actually makes herself look judgmental, self-important and uppity.  Her laugh is the true tell-tale sign of being coo-coo pants.  Imagine sitting near Kelsey and Chris at a funny movie...

Again with the "drop me off and kill me locations".  Laying on a weird bed in the middle of the Badlands on a windy day is a scratched retina waiting to happen.

Ashley was really dumb for dishing all that dirt on Kelsey to Chris.  Never actually tell The Bachelor what's going on in the house!!  Spend the time talking about your own feelings and your own relationship with him; not about anyone else.

Kelsey doesn't have discussions- she lectures.  She's a know-it-all and I don't think she listens to anyone.  Did she say Ashley is someone she can trust and is friends with?  She was mortified that Ashley was talking smack about her to Chris which is to be expected.

It is really shitty of Chris to keep telling the girls what the other ones said.  "I couldn't lie about it"- yeah but you could tell her that you don't want to throw someone else under the bus.  

I don't think Chris has really liked Kelsey or Ashley I. that much.  They're both obviously a ton of drama and way too much work for him.  It's a huge red flag for any guy when a girl can't get along with others.  Lots of the girls in the house have problems with Kelsey but they aren't mean about it.

Surprise surprise- they both get dumped and Kelsey is left sitting on the bed by herself as the helicopter picks up Brad and flies away.  "Where's Ashley?", you ask.  Oh- she's been sitting on a hill crying the entire time.   As the chopper takes off, Kelsey gets up and runs into the desert.  Clearly the same producers as in Ali's season.  (see video of Kasey above).  I'd be like "Ummm... Chris- do you mind if I take this one?  Wait- do Ashley and Kelsey have to share a ride back?!  Has Ashley been seen since?

Meanwhile, back at the house, the girls popped a bottle of champagne and jumped around with joy when they saw Kelsey's suitcase being taken away.  It may be all nicey nicey for now but I'm sure next week will prove to bring out more claws yet fewer fake eyelashes.

Like what you see?  Be sure to comment below or join the conversation on Twitter @midtowndiaries.

These girls be cray!! The Bachelor Recap- Week 2

Remember a week ago when I said that this is probably the most beautiful and normal group of girls to ever grace the Bachelor Mansion.  I retract my comment.  These girls are gorgeous but way cray!

After leaving us with the Kimberly cliffhanger last week, I'm disappointed that the women of America have learned nothing from past contestants.  Can we take a moment to remember Kacie B showing up in Switzerland to try to get Ben back?  We all know how that ended- with Kacie lying on the hotel lobby floor (with her face touching the carpet) crying.

Before:

After:  

There was also that fateful day when Shawntel from Brad's season tried to muscle her way in to Ben's heart during a cocktail party?  That went well...

A move like that will, not only put a massive target on your back with the other girls but it never- and I mean never- ends well.  Let's all agree to just move on when a guy dumps us for 23 other women ok?

Thank goodness our favorite confidant Chris Harrison was around to give Chris S. some solid advice and remind him that this is life we're talking about; not just a game.  He should (say it with me now) follow... his... heart.

Quick question...  Does Chris have an indoor shower or just a little hut in his yard with a tap?  Does he use sulfate free soap because I didn't see a lather...  

During the first group date, "Show Me Your Country" (I refuse to comment...), Megan and Jillian are stuck at home so they do what anyone would do- get day drunk and break into Chris' house!  To be fair, if I was at home while my boyfriend was out dating a bunch of other girls, I'd drink a box of wine, put on a helmet and hit my head against a few hard surfaces too.  I've been day drunk for way less worthy reasons but I've always been wearing pants while doing so... unlike Jillian.  

Chris was really sweet to give Kimberly some one-on-one time during the pool party but I knew things were going downhill when the producers were interviewing her outside... at a bustop in LA... while she was wearing only a bikini...  She really should have just hailed down the first limo she saw and headed back to Long Island.

I was a bit surprised that Chris singled out MacKenzie to hang with after the group date.  I assume he is trying to get a feel for whether or not to keep her around.  It's pure gold listening to the girls try to justify why there weren't picked for one-on-one time.  "He's just such a great guy that he's trying to be really fair to everyone."  Then, as they are walking back to their limos, they get more and more bitter about it.

MacKenzie is young (a 12 year difference between them) and I think that maturity gap is going to become an issue.  She was obviously really nervous and maybe a bit drunk but the girl is 21.  I remember my first time at a bar.  Just a suggestion but maybe she could have omitted the chat about aliens.  Or when your date says "Have you seen aliens?", don't reply with "... I dunno..."

I wish MacKenzie would have told Chris about her son Kale with a bit more confidence and pride instead of making it seem like she had a bit scary secret to share.

It was a bit surprising to see Megan get the one-on-one date but she seems like a nice enough girl.  Has she ever watched The Bachelor though because how can you not understand a date card?  She thought it was just a love note??  Really?!
FINALLY!  I've been waiting two episodes for a helicopter but who was prepared for a private jet and a helicopter?!

Wow- look at that Hoover Dam...  stunning...  Was the Grand Canyon closed to tourists that day because there were zero people around.  Maybe the date was at 5am or something.  My girl @Britt_Landry brings up a good point- where does that pilot go during the date?

Super sad about Megan's dad passing away right before filming.  Good for her for sticking through and seeming to have a positive attitude about things.  Also kudos for not saying "My dad would have wanted me to stay."  Because no girl's dad wants them to date a guy who has 23 other gfs on TV for the entire world to see.

Group date to the Zombie Hunting warehouse- I would die.  I hate hate hate being scared.  I can't go through the least scary level of a haunted house in Niagara Falls.  My husband loves zombies and would kill (no pun intended) to go on this date with Chris.  I, on the other hand, would hunt Chris if he put me on this date.  It is actually my real life personal nightmare.  Big ups to the girl doing Fireball shots before getting out of the limo.

What is wrong with Ashley S?  Seriously though.  Wtf is going on?  Chris is so incredibly nice to her but kind of in the way I'm nice to a junior kindergartner when they are trying to show me their ladybug boots but get distracted by a sparkly scarf.  Although the girls acknowledge she's bat shit cray, they're actually pretty patient with her and don't partake in the bullying behaviour that we've seen on past seasons.

I thought that Britt might be falling to the sidelines a bit but that Free Kiss note was (corny- yes) but also really thoughtful and he knew it would be the perfect gift for her.  Someone should really pull her aside and advise her to "trust the process".

The cocktail hour was a bit of a gong show as emotions are running high and wine is pouring freely.

Fertility Girl (Whitney) still has a crazy voice but she seems to be more comfortable with Chris and more herself.  Her mini date by the fire was really cute and a good way to stand out a bit from the crowd.

Ashley Kardashian I. is pushing this virgin thing a bit too much.  I don't think it's something she has to come out and confess to Chris.  The info might be more relevant if she was saving it until marriage or for religious reasons but he doesn't need to know that now.  I wish I could take back seeing her "Make three wishes on my bellybutton ring.  Rub it first" routine.

Arabian niiiiiiiiiiiights...  

Jordan...  Jordan, Jordan, Jordan...  When you're talking to a guy about how much you want to kiss him and his reaction is nervous laughter, you should just walk yourself out to the front door and wait for your ride.  To be honest- Jordan's really not that crazy.  She is that hammered but seems like a fun gal.  I would love to hit the town with her and am available for drinks whenever she gets out of rehab.  

Lots of drama at the Rose Ceremony.  The highlights?  Chris says "Juelia" and Jillian starts walking toward him.  She slips on the floor almost taking a massive spills but makes an incredible recovery only to find out that Chris called the girl behind her.

                       
Ashley S. gets a rose.  The only thing that will make this ok is if Chris pulls a Brad and the Ashleys become best friends and Chris makes them go on a 2-on-1 and only one will remain.

Kimberly without a rose twice?!  Ouch.  Lesson learned, ladies of America.

Tara's exit speech = awesome.  "I'm never anyone's #1.  You'd think I'd be used to all the rejection by now.  That will haunt me for the rest of my life"

A couple of closing notes:
- 9:15pm:  The first time I have ever seen a girl eat food on any season.  Jillian took a bit of pita bread.
- Where did Tandra come from?!

- Chris has no upper lip when he smiles.  This was pointed out by my husband who was walking through the room between periods of the hockey game he was watching (just trying to justify his manhood).  

What surprised you about last night's episode?  Would you like to be a contributor to next week's blog?  Follow me on Twitter @midtowndiaries or Like my Facebook page.  A big thank you to all my contributors this week with a special shout out to @Britt_Landry, @MegCams and @sarahcatherinef for all your tweets and texts.  It's always a joy to watch "with" you despite being four provinces away!

See you next week, Bachelor Nation!